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18 Bumps

I should know better.....................VENT. adult content

I guess I haven't learned not to look at his computer history. I find out things I need to know but damn it I wish I didn't. I have an open marriage, long story, but I'm at the end of my rope here. I've tried to make this work. Now I found out that his married gf has other bf's and none of them are using protection! WTF?! To top it off he's going to buy her nipple piercings because he missed her birthday. How much is that gonna cost??

I don't trust him. I sure as hell don't trust him to stay clean now. That has been my biggest fear. I've NEVER had an STD and I don't want one now! I don't know how much more of his shit I can take. I'm a SAHM with two little family, no friends that can help. I'm stuck, too stuck. I WANT OUT!!! I WANT OUT NOW!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (36)
  • Wow hun. sorry you are having such a hard time. If he wont wear protection like you two had set up and he is that psychotic about it- i mean ripping them off during sex? sounds like has an issue. it sounds like you have become unhappy and from what i read it has been going downhill for a while. i would get out. not anything to do with the open relationship part at all. it just sounds like you need to get out. Obviously you have done your fair share of giving for him and have tried enough. what is the point if he won't try? not many women are going to be willing no matter what to allow other men in their bedroom and then to allow other women to their man. You did i am assuming for your relationship. so you drew boundaries that you both were supposed to follow and he can't and refuses to- even with you. i would get out before he catches something and gives it to you,

    feel free to pm me! GOOD LUCK!

    Answer by MamaHardy2008 at 9:02 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • to be honest -- that is what happens when you have an open marriage.... what did you expect to happen ??

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 9:25 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I'm glad you shared this. I think girls think it will be fine and they can handle it but in reality he needs to be committed to 1 person and his kids. no one should have to share their hubby with someone else. Of course he will end up with feelings for other women he is sleeping with. Sex is a pretty intimate thing. You need to talk with him and see if he is willing to close the marriage and commit to you.

    Answer by ria7 at 9:28 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Sorry but thats just normal things that can happen when you have an open marriage. If you don't like it tell him that the marriage is no longer open or leave. It's the only options you have.

    Answer by jnd951999 at 9:27 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I think this becomes a problem in open marriages. You arent supposed to share your hubby and your finances with other women.

    Answer by ria7 at 9:25 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Hugs! Before you confront him I would contact a lawyer and find out what your rights are/what you are entitled to, and have a 'game plan' in place-- save up some $, have a bag packed and ready to go, and think of a place to stay (maybe a cheap hotel for a night or 2). Once you have that done then I think you should sit him down and have a talk with him. Tell him that you are not happy about the situation and something has to change.... either he breaks it off with the gf and he goes and gets himself tested for STD (also no sex w/o a condom until you get the results back) OR you and the kids are leaving. Then if he refuses to change or get tested - grab your bag, the kids and walk out the door.

    Answer by MizLee at 9:37 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • You opened that door when you chose to have an open marriage. You reap what you sow.

    Answer by countryspun at 9:29 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Once you opened that door it's not gonna close.

    Answer by Misteh at 9:34 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I'm confused with what you expected from an open marriage, there never good. I do hope that you do talk to him and go get checked to make sure you don't have a problem. GL and sorry your going through this.


    Answer by zbee at 9:40 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • The bottom line is that he broke the rules. I'd talk to him, address the rules he has broken, and see what he has to say for himself. It's not ok that he is having unprotected sex, you are at risk for all kinds of STD's (not to mention a pregnancy). I'm sorry.

    Friends of mine recently divorced after 25 years, they had an open marriage for the last 10 of it. He started seeing people that his wife didn't know about - he broke her trust, and it ended the marriage.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:08 AM on Sep. 30, 2010