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3 Bumps

Is This Appropriate?

Dh and I have been married for 6 years. His ex wife is horrid - she has stolen money from him, trashed his credit, and tried really hard to turn his boys against him.

MIL is in the hospital (bowel surgery and small cell lung cancer treatment, she will be out in a week). Ex went up to the hospital last night and spent several hours with "the family."

WHY? They weren't even married as long and DH and I have been. I don't think she had any business going up there. MIL says she hates her - but maybe she really doesn't?


Asked by Scuba at 12:10 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 34 (64,138 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I agree with you....this is inappropriate. Your mother in law however may not want to lose access to her grandsons. I would try to be patient, step back and put your mother in laws health first. I feel your hurt and frustration, and I think it's valid, but right now YOUR focus should be on your MIL's health, and how your husband is handling that, and not the petty games your husband's ex is playing

    Good Luck.

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:19 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Personally, I think that she had absolutely no business being there esp if the person in the hospital doesn't like her!

    Answer by Beanna4406 at 12:17 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Your husband's mother IS her childrens grandmother. Maybe she decided to go visit out of respect.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:30 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • some people are like that "in time of need" ... I would be mad too....

    I know a guy who cheated on his girlfriend, and left her , and for the next 5 years tormented her, and then she died in a car accident..and now his facebook is full of pics of her and he acts like they were still together or something

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 12:16 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • i assume your MIL was awake during the ex's visit?
    then maybe MIL does get along with her
    maybe she was just being nice?
    maybe being in the hospital is NO fun at all and MIL not too picky as any vistor to take mind off hospital is better than none?

    can you or hubby ask MIL when she is feeling better, casually ask her about the ex visit?

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:17 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • i wouldnt read to much into it if she sayys she hates her but she was up there maybe she was just tryyin to be nice

    Answer by babyy_blue_eyes at 12:18 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I don't think she had any business going up there either, she may have an agenda, watch her.


    Answer by zbee at 12:21 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I agree - inappropriate. A classier thing would have been to call your you or your husband ahead of time to see if he'd mind if she visited his mother in the hospital. Maybe she really cared for her ex MIL.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:31 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My dh's ex does the same stuff. When they were married the ex and my MIL never got along. As soon as dh left her the ex started calling MIL every day. She goes and visits now and MIL says she doesn't like her but I suspect she likes the attention the ex gives her...acting like fake friends to each other. The ex pretty much just wants to get dirt on me and dh. My MIL just wants to see her granddaughter. It used to bug me still bugs me some...but I just try and remember that they have history and it's their relationship, and to focus on my relationship with each of them because that is all I have the business to mind.

    Answer by BluDog at 12:40 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I would feel like MIL liked her better than me. Which is a very inappropriate way for your MIL to make you feel.

    Answer by GeminiMommy6116 at 1:23 PM on Sep. 30, 2010