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Am I a bad mom =(?

I have a baby boy that is 2 days shy of being 3 weeks old, and he does NOT sleep at all through the night. I find myself getting so frustrated and angry that I don't get any sleep at all (not angry at my son), and I would NEVER EVER hurt my son or take it out on him, but I feel like I'm a bad mom because I am not smiling at night when he's crying, and I am a cranky person. I hear other mothers saying, "oh I don't mind getting up" and there are times where I feel like I don't mind, because I love him, but I'm still sooo very exhausted. Am I bad for being upset and unhappy in the nights when he's crying? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get his nights and days switched?

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Asked by PANZONSMOM at 12:40 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,058 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • No!! I was the same way, there is nothing to smile about when you're woken up 15 min. after finally falling asleep. Just keep working on getting him on a routine and let me assure you IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!!!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:42 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • time
    sorry not a better answer
    but he is so very very young
    he will adjust
    and so will you
    you will still be sleep deprived but you get used to it
    just be careful when you are driving or using heavy machinery- i am seroius, at times when i was very sleep deprived i would get very silly and almost feel like i was high, then i would be driving and thinking , man i should not be operating a car at this time

    be patient, you are still getting used to nights, and as soon as you start to find your night groove, that is when he will start giving you some more needed sleep

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:44 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • No, you're not a bad mom! You need some help. My middle son was like this.

    You can try to wake him and keep him up more during the day, but this may be difficult. It may just take him time to get his schedule reset. Maybe your husband can let you sleep through the night....I don't know if you are breast feeding, and if so can maybe pump so that he can feed the baby at night, but if you can get a little help, and at least nap during the day. It may take awhile, but he will get on track.

    In the meantime, it isn't safe for you to go without some uninterrupted sleep, so I hope you can get some help.

    Good luck, and congratulations on you new baby!

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:45 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • you are not a bad mom! you are a very tired mom! it does get easier though, promise. you just have to hang in there. and dont be afraid to ask for help. have someone take him during the day so you can catch a nap.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 12:45 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • At three weeks old, he's going to need to be fed every 4 hours (ish), there's no getting around those night time feedings until they get older. I would take a nap during the day when the baby was sleeping, it helped a lot. Good luck - I promise it will get better.

    Answer by Scuba at 12:46 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • my daughter didnt start sleeping through the night (like 8 hours) until she was like 2 months old. you should try to keep him up during the day so he is tired at night or if you can sleep during the day when does so when he is up at night your not so tired. i started putting ceral in my daughters bottle so she wasn't so hungry and that would help her sleep longer. i don't think that your a bad mom for getting angry or upset. its hard to think when your tired. hope this helps some. just keep in mind that it will get better.

    Answer by lyricsmommy08 at 12:51 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Honestly, I don't believe anyone that says "I don't mind getting up". It may be that they don't mind caring for their infant who needs them and enjoy the 3am bonding time, I get that, but I don't think there are more than a very select few mothers in the world who honestly don't miss the uninterrupted sleep. That is normal, and in no way makes you a bad mom! It's not unnatural to not wake up cheery eyed and smiling every 2 hours throughout the night lol. It gets easier though, just look forward to that and enjoy your baby because pretty soon you're going to forget all about getting up throughout the night and just miss him being so tiny!!

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 1:00 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • No your not a bad mom.... your exhausted,,, I totally understand where your coming from... I work nights and I don't get to sleep until 4am and then I have to wake up around 7.... I'm so tired and sometimes I snap at my son or others and I feel horrible.... especially since his father never wants to let me sleep in, he is the only one that gets to sleep around here apparently.... Try to get some help from someone so you can take a nap.... when your baby sleeps, you sleep.... it is the only way to save your sanity.... Congrats btw...

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:03 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I don't think your a bad Mom. Just a tired Mom. My suggestion is ask for help during the day for a while. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Do you have a friend or family member that can come over and maybe take care of the baby for a few hows so you can sleep. It gets better.

    Answer by Iluvmy5 at 1:10 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • You are in no way a bad mom. You are new mom who is exhausted and sleep deprived. It is so natural to feel this way. I did with 3 of them, and my first was the most difficult; in part because he was the first but he was also a severe reflux kid in a time with little medical intervention available.

    You need to do your best to sleep when baby sleeps. And if you feel that you aren't sleepy enough to sleep, just cuddle up on the couch or in bed with a book and relax. The dishes and other cleaning will wait. And if you feel you need to clean, do it with baby in a sling/carrier while he's awake so you can sleep/rest when he does.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 1:59 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

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