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How do you change the attitude with a stubborn kid

My niece is 8 years old and very stubborn by nature. Any ideas how to help her change or help me help her.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Oct. 23, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • Being stubborn is not always a bad thing especially for girls these days. It depends on what kind of stubborn. If she questions authority rules and wants to know why, it is a good thing with society today. Don't want to change that, but you can guide her in ways to repectfully get the answers she needs to understand why things need to be the way they are. My four children are stuborn in this way simply because they have learned not all adult figures are good/or right in thier thinking. Give her the tools to be respectful to adults but not a blind fool to follow things they do not understand or believe to be correct. If she is stubborn, it is a good chance she will not be a victim.

    Answer by blackcat66 at 11:14 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I would have to agree with blackcat66. My oldest is very stubborn and sometimes it is a very good thing. It can also be a very frustrating thing.

    When he gets so stubborn he won't listen to me I tell him "when you are ready to talk come to me" I think you have to let her know it is okay to be this way she just needs to know how to handle it. Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 1:46 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I agree that being stubborn may not be a negative thing, but it depends on what you mean, and what's going on. If she refuses to obey her parents, I'd not call that stubborn, but disobedient and defiant. As you're not her mother, all you can do is set personal boundaries (you throw a fit, we're leaving your house) and house rules for when she visits...


    Answer by TXdanielly at 2:33 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Raising the Strong Willed Child by: Dr. James Dobbson

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:10 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • You have to be stubborn yourself. My youngest wants his own way and when he doesn't get it he pulls the mulish stuff. Which just means that I dig in and don't negotiate, don't bribe, don't placate. This is how it is and that's all there is to it. If he thinks he can push you an inch, then you'll be there all day long when he goes for the mile.

    I've spent a few years figuring out his 'reasons' though. It's control for him. When he feels out of control he tries to control the situation by being stubborn and digging in his heels. So in that case I make a point of being firm, we are doing this. Giving him limited choices. You can do this or this, nothing else, and following through. Which means he goes to his room if he persists, even when it's a pita to get him there.

    Answer by Kestrel1 at 10:47 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

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