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thoughts

Has any one ever had a bad thought just pop in your head and then you never think of it again? I'm not crazy or anything, but my husband and I are going thru some hard time emotionally and financial. When I was driving down the road after we had some words I saw a big rig and thought "if that truck would just him me this would be all over with". Didn't think about it again till I was on the phone with my husband arguing once again and I told him about my thought and he acts like I think that way all the time which I have never till that moment. He tells me if thats what I want to do then do it. I just can't get past his comment. I was just opening up and telling him what I had thought last time we spoke. We have always been able to tell each other anything in the 28 years we have been together and support each other. Should I just try to forget about his comment? Has anyone else had thoughts like this for just a moment?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Oct. 23, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Wow, that was RUDE!!! I'd be very upset with my husband too! Random thoughts like that are normal, it is fixating on them or considering them to be a realistic solution that is the problem. For him to respond in that manner... have you talked about it again- told him how hurtful that was to you? Sometimes men really don't "get it"!! Spell it out- and tell him you need to be able to express yourself to him without judgement or being attacked!! When you get that behavior from him- notice and appreciate him for it- men need rewards for good behavior (lame, but true!).
    mtnmama111

    Answer by mtnmama111 at 12:20 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • You found out that some thing a best left unsaid....I have thought of leaving my husband of 20 years,,, plenty of time over the years..But I never told him that cause I was just pissed off at him at the time,,didn't plan on going anywhere,,,Go back and tell him some way you were just joking or you were just pissed at him,,it might work in your favor
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:15 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I would have a hard time getting over that comment too....
    I have awful thoughts of my kids dying in horrible ways. Those are thoughts I would rather never have again. I think it is my over active imagination picturing the worst :( I hate it.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 10:22 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • My husband told me I was a psychotic freak when I said something similar to him. It really hurt my feelings because he was mad and serious when he called me that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • your thought was very self destructive. I have found when men hear a statement like your thought they do not know how to deal with it. They either shut down and say go ahead, or they become over protective and freak on you. I wouldn't take it personal, men react to stress diff. then women do. You know he loves you, sometimes comments said are just reactions not real feelings. You would not be stressing fighting etc unless there was something worth fighting for. Get to the bottom of the stress work on that. The thoughts and comments are just the result of the stress/deal with that and the thoughts/comments will stop.
    blackcat66

    Answer by blackcat66 at 10:25 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I agree with black cat 66. Men seem to think they have to fix everything. When you shared your feelings with him, he may have either thought he wasn't doing a good job "fixing"/ keeping things going, or he may have thought that's one thing he can't fix. Maybe he just thought you were throwing another situation on his plate to deal with. If you had the thought because you are just so sad, and can't imagine life without him... maybe you should explain it to him that way. I have had thoughts like this from time to time. If I share them with my husband, I always get a different reaction depending on how he feels. Good Luck, stay positive, and hang in there. 28 yrs. is a long time, but you've got plenty more ahead of you.
    chickadee8654

    Answer by chickadee8654 at 10:44 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I've told a friend of mine that same thing. People that talk about it don't often do it. But I do understand what you were feeling. Once in a while I'm driving down the road and I see a bridge and I think of how if I'd just lose control of the car and go over it everything would be better. I'd never do it but once in a while I find myself down in that dark hole and I have to work hard to climb out of it. Sometimes it's just for a moment but I don't want to die but for that instant I almost wish that an accident would happen so it's not me doing it to myself.
    continued......
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:56 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I've told my friend that because I've done the "please don't ever do that, don't leave your kids blah blah blah" and it's not effective, she'd say "they'd be better off without me blah blah blah" so then I told her to just do it then and you know... she's never said it to me again. I've told my husband that when I cross a bridge that sometimes I think that I wish I'd go over it, think about it happening, I do the same things when a big truck is coming or I'm going around a curve sometimes but I don't really want it to happen, it's just a passing thought. He was likely saying it trying to snap you back in to reality.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:56 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Is it possible for you both to go to a few sessions of councelling?

    And by the way, I've had those thoughts to. Coures those were when I was suffering depression. Just be observant of your own emotions. If you think that you could be sliping into depression, even if there is just a slight chance, then go get counceling now before your so deep into it that you can't get your way out.

    As far as your husbands comments. I think we all have said something horrible to our spouse taht we never really ment. I think you should talk to him about it though. Make it clear that you were jsut trying to be open with him and how his comment made you feel. But try not to attack him or accuse him.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 10:58 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Your right mtnmama111, they do need rewards for good behavior. That is one reason we are fighting right now because he thinks I don't appreciate him working hard when he is on the road. I feel I show I appreciate him by taking care of the kids, house, bills and what ever else is thrown my why while he is on the road working. I all so wait on him when he comes home and try to leave him alone for a day so he can relax since he is gone most the week. I don't know what else to do to show I appreciate him besides getting on my knees and bowing at his feet. I tell him everytime we talk that I love him and miss him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

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