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I have a spirited child who tends to be more difficult, he has decided that it is ok to hit me when he gets hurt or angry. I dont understand this, no form of discipline helps the matter and am quickly getting tired of this acting out. so any ideas on things to try?

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Asked by danahake at 2:30 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Be very firm with him and don't give him an inch. If he hits you than put him in time out, even if you have to hold and restrain him. Take away his favorite toys and tell him he can have it back when he behaves. Try to ignore the bad behavior and notice and reward the good. Good luck! If all else fails, hire that nannie 101.

    Answer by staceynoel at 2:35 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I happen to be going through the same thing. What I have been doing is if he hits me with a toy he loses that toy for the rest of the day. but if he kicks me or hits me I have swatted him. I haven't really figured anything eles out. I think I did figure out why he is acting out. I think he thinks he isn't getting my attention enough so the only way to get it is to act out. So today I am forgoing the spanking and trying to give him more of my attention the I normally have been. And so far half the day is over and he has only hit me once today (out of frustration) So maybe he feels the same way good luck I hope you and I figure this out.

    Answer by lovemybaby283 at 2:35 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Have you tried removing toys?

    I know when I take my dd's toys, she listen a lot better.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:36 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • no havent tried taking away toys! is it ok to swat for them hitting you or is that reinforcing the behavior i have no idea anymore. ive tried that and time out. i can try being more firm though! i just dont want this to continue as he gets older, plus it really does hurt! and makes me very sad!

    Comment by danahake (original poster) at 2:41 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Time outs, time outs, time outs. Immediately and for as long as they need to be. If your child refuses to stay in the time out chair, get down behind the chair and put him in a bear hug until he learns to stay in the chair. Especially if he's hitting you, that should earn him an immediate time out and he should stay in time out until he is calm and ready to apologize and talk about what happened, no matter how long it takes.
    I strongly recommend the book 'The Strong-Willed Child', it helped us.

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 2:49 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • its ok to pop not abuse..everytime my 2 dd hits me..i pop or pluck her fingers an tell her y i did it..i let her know that she cant just hit her mom an she needs to respect i also take her toys an put them up where she cant reach them... he hit anyone else or just u..

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 4:12 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Kids are going to push their limits to test you to see what they can get away with. Time outs only go so far unfortunately, especially when you have a child that is stubborn enough to kick and scream for HOURS. What worked for me is threatening to take his favorite toys, and if he continued to be bad follow through 100 percent. Make sure not only is it a threat, its a promise! Give him the choice to choose how he responds to the situation at first, too. Now I can say "Do you want me to take Thomas away?" and he says no and stops because he knows it will be the consequence of his action. Its good to let them choose, because then they feel they have a say, even when they can't express it with words. Even if you're mad, don't give in, or let him know he's upsetting you in anyway, because ultimately he needs to understand what Mom says, goes!

    Answer by Beaz at 5:49 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • create a system and stick with it you have to be consistent or ur kid will think it temporary and keep acting out

    Answer by mekarevell at 8:37 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

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