Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My Daughter feels like she must tell her friends she is gay.

Anyone go through this before......and keep in mind my daughter is only 14.

I need help understanding how to have this discussion with her as I feel she should wait before shouting her "I Love You's" all over the land.


Asked by Massey2 at 2:48 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (80 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • "teens are more accepting than adults"

    Are you serious.? Do you ever listen to the news... do names like Seth Walsh, Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown and Billy Lucas...all four gay teens bullied and teased until they took their own lives. in the last month alone. Teens are vicious when it comes to this. It is sad that I have to encourage this MoMom to discourage her daughter from coming out to her friends just now...for her safety and well being that is exactly what, and why I'm doing. it.


    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:26 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Um... wow. How about being supportive of her? I knew I was bisexual when I was 12 and my friends were the only support I got because of moms like you.

    Answer by WomanWitty at 2:52 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Encourage her to hold that information very close to herself. Teens can be very cruel. anti-gay bullying is horrendous especially at the high school and early college level. Make it clear that you aren't ashamed of her..only afraid of the ignorant reaction. Teens talk..even if she just tells two people...even if only one breaks the will get around. It always does. Explain there will be a time for her to openly declare she is gay...high school is a dangerous time and place to do it. More than one teen has been beaten to death for simply being gay. Good Luck to you both.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:53 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Well is she? If she is I see no problem with her letting people know who she truly is instead of hide it. If she's not, then I have no idea why she would say it, hell no one will ever know why teenagers say and do the things they do.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:50 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I fell in love when I was 13.. she could very well be in love, with another girl. You should support her.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:49 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I'm not sure what you mean by "shouting her "I Love You's" all over the land.... Coming out to her friends to me doesn't seem like such a horrible thing. Identifying yourself as gay doesn't mean you'll go out and start having "gay relationships" all over the place, either. It's just part of who you are...

    I would support her in her decision, but I would probably tell her that some people might not be 100% positive, and that she should be prepared for that.

    Answer by Anouck at 2:51 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • It gives them a sense of identity to tell their friends, they need to know if they will be accepted by her peers. 14 is not too young to know, let her be and support her all the way.

    Answer by older at 2:54 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I saw in your other post that she was in high school and doesn't know that is is really gay. People just know, okay. You don't have to be an adult to discover you are attracted to the same sex. Just like how do people really know they are straight? Do they have to wait till tey are adult to determine that? NO. People just know.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:55 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Ok.......I dont think I have explain myself well. I have had the conversation with her 2 months ago that I support her. I am more concerned with her telling her best friend and other friends at this point. She has been in this relationship for 2 months only. I think it would be best for her to savor and secure her relationship on a more private level at this point as NOT many 14 year olds are going to accept this openingly. She already told her best friend who knows Alley that Alley is gay........her friend freaked out..........and then Missy covered it up by saying "well she used to be gay she isnt anymore" so they all still hang out but this wasnt accepted well already.

    I am just having problems encouraging her to blurt it out right now.........

    Comment by Massey2 (original poster) at 2:58 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • If I was her, i would get rid of those friends. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who couldnt accept me for who I truly was

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:02 PM on Sep. 30, 2010