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Should I move in or move on?

I've had a nice turned to rocky 4yr relationship my son's dad. I moved out of our apt (where I was the bread winner/responsible one) and he got his own place. He can't keep up w/ his bills. He's also in college and is behind. He wants me to move back in w/ him in order to keep him afloat & b/c he wants us to be together again. I feel as though I should move in b/c I want to, not b/c he needs me to. And I don't want to use my paychecks to support him like I used to & to play catch up w/ his debt. I have my own goals that don't include supporting him until he can get his life together. He seems to always be getting into trouble b/c his expired tag & suspended license. We also argue. He has stopped drinking, but that was one of the main reasons I couldn't be w/ him. That and I'm just not in love. If I don't move in he'll have to move 3 hrs away and we'll have to work out visitation for him to see his son. What would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • Move on. You aren't responsible for his finances. It's not going to get any better with you living with him again. He'll continue to do as he is doing and he'll have no motivation to change.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 3:22 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Move on.
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 3:22 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Dont move in..what you said was very responsible and real. He needs to grow up. If that means moving and learning to care for himself then that is what he needs to do.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:22 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • DO NOT MOVE IN! You know you don't love him, who's to say he won't take full advantage and let you carry him forever. He needs to grow up and get his life straight.
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 3:22 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • DON'T MOVE IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 3:22 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I wouldn't move in. It sounds like he's using you for the money. Stay clear of hi. But your children needs and your needs in front of his.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:23 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Sounds like you need to move on.
    jacksmom3707

    Answer by jacksmom3707 at 3:31 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Move on. He's using you. He just wants you to support him and to keep him from going under. He may "Want you", but it's not for your mind or for your love, it's for your money. He can't be responsible on his own, so he needs you to support him. Move on.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:39 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Don't move in with him. Why will he have to move 3 hours away? Wouldn't that mean he would have to drop out of school? He needs to get his life together and grow up, you moving in with him won't help.
    bethany169

    Answer by bethany169 at 3:39 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Move on and give him time to catch himself up.
    AshJoe05

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 3:45 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

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