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Husband saying he doesn't have time for a vasectomy, but he has time for other things... adult content

Me and my husband agreed after our 1st son was born that I would have the babies and he would be the one to get sterile once we were done having kids. For the last 6 months he's been "too busy" to get it done or even call to see how much we needed to save up for it. I have my hands full and I really don't need another baby. I've tried talking to him, I've tried cutting off the sex (he takes care of himself...), I even told him I would budget the money so he could do it. But, it's not happening. He has insurance and I don't. Therefore, I can't just go have the surgery myself. I had issues with every birth control out there from it messing with my heart to it making me sick as a dog. So, what am I supposed to do? He claims that he's going to do it, he doesn't seemed to be too bothered by the what's really going on?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Hmm...... use a condom for now, hes probably just nervous.... it is his "manhood". lmao

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 3:44 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I wouldn't continue not having sex with him. If you both don't want another baby yet he refuses to get get fix, cut him off. Maybe he's sacred to do it. I know my husband is and is refusing right now but he knows the risks if I do it and its far greater then his. I would just make that appointment for him and go with him. If the appointment is set he may just go. Talk to him about this.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:45 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Have you considered Vaginal spermicidal strips? We used those for years and didn't have any issues/pregnancies. During the 'fertile week' we used a condom to. I have never been good with hormonal BC. I like the strips because they can be inserted up to 4 hours before sex which means you can still be a little spontaneous. They are 97% accurate in a clinical setting.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:45 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Being bothered by the idea and being scared to have it done are 2 different things. He needs to man up and get it done. It really is no big deal. There could be a myriad of things running through his mind. Sit down and talk to him and find out why he hasn't gotten this taken care of.

    Answer by coala at 3:46 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • He does know a vis. only makes him shoot 'blanks' right? My Dh thought it made you no longer do anything at climax like it would be dry. That bothered him.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:47 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • my husband couldnt find the time, and now we have #4 on the way. His ass better find the time now, bc i was taking my pill perfectly, and it failed me! Tell him about me, and maybe it will push him along!! They watch us carry and suffer the pain of childbirth, but they are soooo scared to get a little snip. big babies

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 3:48 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • you know they do it with a laser now and its pain free, its not like the old cut, clamp, and burn. take him for a consultation so a doc can explain it to him...i really believe he's scared

    Answer by aliishott2 at 3:49 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My husband is the same way - except I had the Mirena done. He was trying to get me to agree to have a hysterectomy - WTF! When we sat down to discuss him getting 'fixed' he said some of the guys at work told him they had it done and they were no longer able to get an erection, no sex drive etc. I told him to get an appointment with his doctor to talk to a medical professional about the risks but he is still dragging his feet - I have another 4 1/2 years on Mirena so there is no rush for me. Could your husband have some fears about the possible risks? Maybe gotten some bad info? Anyway, good luck and I hope you find some compromise that makes you both happy.

    Answer by savimom628 at 3:50 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • There is a procedure you can have done during an office visit and not be put under anesthesia. It is called Essure.

    Answer by My3Ez at 3:54 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Offer to make the appointment for him.

    Answer by andrea96 at 3:55 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

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