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How to help 3 year old accept moving?

I'm a single mother of a little boy who just turned 3 at the end of June who recently moved out of state. I had lived with my parents, his 2 year old cousin, and my sister since he was born. We moved in the middle of July. I've tried explaining that we live here now and this is our home, but he's upset. He says things like "We need to go home." And when I tell him we live here, he says no. Since the move my parents have come to visit twice, and I let them take him for a week. I don't want to tell them they can't see their grandson (they didn't agree with the move and are upset in the first place), but I'm concerned its making things even more difficult for him...any suggestions on how to help him, my parents, and myself cope? :(

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Asked by Beaz at 4:09 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 5 (102 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • weve moved three times since my son was born and he is three now we are in the military and he is always upset at first but i dont make a big deal about it, i find some way to make it fun, like you get a new room and you get to decorate it how you want, and we gained a yrad this time so he was excited about that, and of course my family was upset w us moving for the first time out of state but this is your family and you have to do whats best for you and your family you have to just flat out say that to your parents this and they are adults they can accept it or not. your 3 yr old will eventually move on over his saddness about moving, just try to highlight the positives and dont feel bad or guilty when he does bc this will only make him worse trust me ive done that

    Answer by Kre10 at 4:14 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Can you just tell your parents not to come visit for 3 to 6 months, tell your son is use to the new place. The only thing you should say to your son when he says we need to go home is "we are home, we do not live with grandma and grandpa anymore". Something like that. If your parent insiste on visiting tell him they are visiting. when they get ready to go home tell him they are going to go back to their home.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:19 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • we just moved a couple of months ago and my 3 y/o was a little upset at first. We knew a little over a year ahead of time that we were moving (we are military and had orders) so we started preparing her as soon as we could. The week before we moved we had a small get together with friends to say good bye. Since we have been here she has had her moments but I try to keep her busy. I let her pick out the paint color for her room and help me paint. We go to the library for story time once a week and we joined a local playgroup. Now that she is meeting new people and getting out she is asking about "home" and friends and family much less. i think letting him stay with your parents a week at a time may be hindering the process...maybe you should wait until he is better adjusted before you let them take him again.

    Answer by foxracing43701 at 4:22 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Show him the fun of where he lives and make new memories with him. Try taking him to local parks to meet new friends, or to local attractions, and show him what your new home has to offer. It's easy to miss something he's always known, but in cases like this I think it's best to show him that other places can be just as fun.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 4:28 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Also, I wouldn't limit him seeing his family, but instead, by showing him something fun, he can be sure to show his grandparents when they visit, can lead to a good bond between him and you and him and them, so you aren't really taking anyone away from eachother either.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 4:30 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I would find some new, fun things to do with him that are close to your new place, or that you never did while living with your parents. Really play up how fun it is that you get to do these things now that you have moved.

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 6:20 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I agree with everyone. I would find some fun things to do around your new home. Like a local park you can go for a walk in and find leaves (if you live in an area that has fall) or the local library, if you can't make story time, you can still go in together and pick out books to take home and read together. I would try to make special dates so he has some fun things attached to his new home. Plus maybe if he is really excited and had a good time, you can have him call your family and tell them how great it was. Maybe that will help your parent's realize it wasn't a bad idea!

    Answer by Peajewel at 6:48 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

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