Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

living the "American Dream"?

is it real? was it ever real? will it be in the future? I'm talking about the 'perfect' job, house, car, family, life etc...
I know i'm not living it. i know my parents aren't, they try and and they try but it just never happens. i keep saying to myself "if we could just get out of debt" but i know that's almost impossible, my parents have been saying it for my whole life... I know it has something to do with where we live, and that we were stupid and had kids before finishing college and getting a good paying job, but does that mean we don't deserve to ever be happy and "financially stable"? am i just being unrealistic in hoping that SOMEDAY (preferably before my kids are in college) we'll own our own house and not be on Public Assistance (FS&medicaid) and be able to buy our kids 'extras' once inawhile without worrying about it later?
sigh... just depressed with life today i guess :(

Answer Question

Asked by DreainCO at 4:14 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 26 (26,859 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • OMG...I was reading that as if i could have written it myself :) We did live in the projects but moved to a townhouse in Feb. i love it but yesterday someone stole my DD's bike out of the front yard and my hubby is in college and working as a manager at a grocery store, i'm a stay at hom mom of 3 girls 4yrs 2 yrs and 7 months old. I feel like we are always stuggling, i hate that we have to depend on food stamps and medicaid and we cant even afford to be in debt we dont even make enough money to qulaify for a credit card hubby only brings home roughly $800 a Month :(

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 4:25 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I think the American Dream now is to be happy. If you've achieved that, you're rich beyond measure.

    Answer by SDMama77 at 4:33 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My personal view.

    The American Dream is alive and well. I live my American Dream every single day.

    It just all depends on what a person's individual idea of the "American Dream" is. :-)

    Ex: My "American Dream" has nothing to do with home ownership, 2.5 kids, 2 cars in the garage..etc... LOL.. Mine is very different than that.

    Hang in there. :-) Life has a tendency to make it feel like, sometimes, that we get kicked in the teeth everytime we feel like we maybe getting a little ahead. But what I've learned through my days is this. That feeling. Is due to perception more than life itself in many cases. I really believe that life is what you make it, and that circumstances and how we feel about them has a whole lot to do with perception.

    Hang in there.. :-)

    I hope things start looking up and that your "American Dream" starts coming true for you and yours.


    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:38 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • And the key is to - live within your means. Learn how to control your finances. It is possible.

    Answer by tasches at 4:38 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I think you're missing the biggest part of the "American Dream" - the part involving hard work. The reason it's called the American Dream is that you're free enough to try anything to achieve the dream of having that job, house, car, family, life, etc. It's not an insurance program that you'll never fail in achieving that on your journey.

    Look at what you DO have. We have an apartment. Right now it is our 'perfection' even though there's hardly anything perfect about it - it's a place we live. We have one old car but we love it dearly. We have one child and that's perfect enough for us. Our life is hard, yes, but we are free. I do understand where you're coming from though, we are far from financially stable but we're working on it and we're determined to be happy with what we do have instead of upset at what we don't have.

    Answer by Cenchan at 4:39 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • is it real? Yes

     "if we could just get out of debt" but i know that's almost impossible. Not impossible, just hard. You have to live below your means and sacrifice to win :)

     does that mean we don't deserve to ever be happy and "financially stable"? No. But I do think you might have to work harder for it.

    am i just being unrealistic Nope. You'll never get anywhere if you're satisfied with where you are.


    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 7:12 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I'd recommend checking out Dave Ramsey's, My Total Money Makeover from the library. There is also a Dave Ramsey group on Cafemom if you'd like to join:

    You've got to remember that a few decades ago credit cards didn't exist, where as now 100 million Americans carry a balance from month to month. The average home size was once 700 sq feet. Having a car noet was almost unheard of.

    I'm not saying that you're perfect house has to be super small. Or that you can never have anything nice. But you do have to learn how to live below your means and accept responsibly.

    Anyway this whole Dave Ramsey thing- the average family is debt free except the house in 18 to 24 months. That is when they are 100% focused on it. It's a lot of work and sacrifice. But there are several women in our group that are completely debt free. I'm only $3000 away. So it is doable.

    Good luck :)

    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 7:18 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • "If you always do what you've always done then you'll always get what you've always got"

    LOVE this quote. You have to make a change in your situation yourself. I don't mean that in a mean way either. I've been atthe point where we were sinking and struggling to stay above water. I decided to make a change though so that I could give my 2 girls things they deserve and be able to pay the bills on time and all in the same month. I can't tell you what a blessing it has been to be able to do these things!! I started working at home last year and even in just a year it has made such a huge difference :).

    Keep your head up and decide what you want, how bad you want it and what you're willing to do to get it.


    Answer by ChristinaAtHome at 8:44 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • The 'American Dream' is that even the poorest immigrant who doesn't speak English can come over here (legally of course) and work their butts off and make something of themselves. That is what the land of opportunity has to offer. Everyone else here is right too. If you work hard, you can change your situation. If you sit still, nothing changes. It's not about having 2.5 kids, two cars and a mortgage. It's the place where you will find fulfillment in your life.

    I also recommend that you read Dave Ramsey.

    Answer by slw123 at 8:55 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Absolutely 1000% obtainable and more so now than ever, you need to be diligent and persistent and consistent.

    I have been a WAHM for 5 years, and this last year has been the MOST amazing of all, with my business. Finding a company that actually CARES, and REWARDS heavily for your work ...

    Not all WAH is created equal Ive done it all...this is different, and there isn't more CRAP to keep around..but it has a service to protect you and your family.

    Answer by Happymom2-2 at 9:59 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.