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a biting toddler... help!

I have a 2 1/2 year old you is going through a phase of biting other toddlers his age. I have tired everything, but I can only do so much at home because he has stopped biting at home and he is an only child. The kids he is biting are children from his daycare. Even the daycare provider has tired many, many different ways of breaking him of this stage. I would like to know id anyone has any suggestions on stopping him from biting.
Thanks,
a concerned mom

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:19 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (5)
  • my mom has told me i had the same problem pretty much when i was little. only i bit everywhere. its probably his way of saying he wants more attention.. unfortunately it most likely is a phase, which unfortunately will most likely have to run its course. the only thing i can think of is to maybe take a toy away from him every time he bites or put him in time out or some other discipline. Good Luck!!!
    americanadian25

    Answer by americanadian25 at 10:42 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Mine is going through a phase where he bites himself on the arm. It's making me crazy! I asked his DR and he said it's normal. I just keep telling him he can't bite my baby or hurt my baby. I can't wait for this to pass.
    dmbutler

    Answer by dmbutler at 1:44 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • My suggestion is to try to see the good motives or the good needs and intentions behind the behavior, and to affirm those at the time of the problem. Look at it (I realize this is a situation your daycare provider is experiencing, not you directly) as a strategy to meet his needs. All behavior is needs-based or motivated by good things, even problematic behaviors. Try to send messages that affirm the person and the needs (which are valid) and recognize that the behavior is sort of a call for help, and encourage him to ask for help instead. Let him know you know he just wants good things, and needs help, and that his biting is asking for help, but to ASK for "Help!" instead of biting. Letting him know what TO do will help him orient toward more positive behaviors/strategies, and will help him know what is going on inside himself. I have 26 month old twins who do a lot of this aggressive stuff & it's all about their
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:12 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • ...very good positive wishes and desires. It almost always boils down to the wish to have fun or some other good goal. I hate that they see a quick grab & bite as a strategy that works, but I seriously don't want to send the message that they are wrong for what they want, or even for what they are doing. There is a better way, and everybody needs to be safe, but it's just about helping them know what to do when they are in that situation. So....if it's a toy thing, he's probably noticing what someone is doing and how it looks really interesting and fun, and that biting is an effective way to get quick access to that toy. (Or perhaps it's the response, so interesting that when he does this, someone starts to cry and scream and people come straight over and get involved.) I emphasize asking for help, that I know he wants good things and needs help. That can be asking (the other child) for a turn, or it can mean asking (the
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:19 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • adult) for help. For me, that "help" usually involves me stating what I see in him. "You just saw that toy and how it looked fun! You think playing with a car would be fun! You just want to have fun with that car! But N is playing with that car, so you need some help for how to have fun, don't you? We could find a car for you that would be fun to push. Can I help you find something for your very own to push?" (these days, he sometimes shifts on his own and doesn't need ME to do the finding and helping, but does need the help to get there.) I try to reinforce the other child's communication, too, and asking for help, also letting his twin know about his experience (it hurts!) and his wishes (stop!) I want them both to be empowered, and ultimately to avoid pain. But it does take being proactive (to limit the times it GETS to biting) and a firm belief that there isn't a good & bad child involved or a wrong side.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:42 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

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