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5 Bumps

Is blood thicker than water?

I have a brother who has really been a........ well lets say he has always made the wrong decisions, been in and out of prison his whole life. Anyway throughout the years I have always tried to help him when he got out, but I always ended up getting burned for it, he stole thousands of dollars from me, stole jewlery from me, stole my car, leather jackets, I could go on and on. Anyway I still always forgave him and tried to help him out.

The last time I saw him though he started getting loud and yelling at me, then smacked me in front of his daughter and my daughter, and I'm pregnant. I said that was it. I'm done I haven't spoken to him or seen him for over two months. Most people agree with my decision, but some have said I should forgive him again.

What do you think? Am I wrong to say I want nothing to do with him even though he is my brother?

Answer Question
 
sheloveearth

Asked by sheloveearth at 10:54 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,921 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • hell no your daughter was a witness to his abuse on you...you know he can face felony charges for touching a pregnant woman... wow
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 10:56 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • There is nothing that my family could do to make me write them off all together. He obviously needs help, and if his family won't help him then who else does he have to turn to? Get him into some counseling at a local church or therapy center. Tell him how much you love him and how much it hurts to see him ruining his life.

    Just be there for him.
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 11:01 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My brother is an ass like yours is and I cut him out of my life also. I've found that blood is not thicker than water. I'd do anything for my Mom and brothers but none of them would lift a finger for me.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:04 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • he has taken so much from you and yet to return any kindness. my sister is a druggie and is in jail now but every time she was out she always tried to manipulate us as well as other people into giving her money to buy drugs or quick fixes from the store (aka cold medicine) i love her to death as she is my sister and always will be, but there comes a time when you just have to let them reap what theyve sewn. you probably love your brother as much as i love my sister and you can forgive them but that doesnt mean they are excused from what they have done. let your brother learn his lesson(s) and hopefully someday he will come to his senses. best wishes to you...
    americanadian25

    Answer by americanadian25 at 11:07 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting. Forgive him, but do not forget that you need to protect yourself from actions you know he will most likely continue to make. You can love him and forgive him without letting him "into your life" or making yourself vulnerable. God bless you all.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 11:11 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Not always.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 11:26 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • i think you've done waaaaay too much for him already - to the point of enabling and/or being codependent which is unhealthy for you and doesn't do anything except help him understand he can use you. just because someone is related to you by blood doesn't mean they're not a piece of shit and that they deserve your love and respect. i'm sorry that he hit you and especially in front of children. for the sake of the child in your belly and the child that was a witness as well as yourself, he needs to be cut off. don't feel bad about it - he is becoming more abusive to you the more you help. this is what people like that do.... often we hear about this in romantic relationships, and if this were that everyone would be telling you to leave it... this shouldn't be any different. frankly family can be more dangerous to us than others because of the thinking they somehow deserve different treatment than anyone else doing the same thing
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:49 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • There is nothing that my family could do to make me write them off all together.

    While I applaud you for being there for your family, you are fortunate to not have your family hurt you so bad that you had to cut them out of your life. Blood is not thicker than water.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 12:22 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • For starters, he shouldn't have hit you in front of your daughter. She didn't need to see that, not to mention that it was totally uncalled for. Since he has already stolen a lot of things from you, he could still try to do it again. Don't give him the chance, You and your family doesn't need this and he's definitely not a good influence on your kids. I think you made the right choice.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:53 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • You made the right choice. Stay away from him! We have no contact with my husband's brother because of the choices he makes in his life and we don't want him around our kids. It works out great.
    Leigh519121

    Answer by Leigh519121 at 12:58 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

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