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Is my 11 yr old daughter depressed?

She is a gifted student and thinks and reads at an adult level. She sits and reads or listens to soppy rock like Radiohead for hours in her bedroom. Half of her is very talkative and informative and she jokes about but I can see it in her eyes. She came crying to me once to say no one understands her at lately it's been getting worse. Last night me, my husband got her to talk to us and she poured her heart out about how much apathy and loneliness she deals with every day at school. She says she has no friends and eats lunch alone. We were thinking of making a transfer because she says the students in her gifted class at school are stereo-typical. I catch her crying by herself in her room usually with her nose in a book. She tries secluding herself often. She looks so in pain. What can we do to help her?

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Asked by AHLoverMum at 11:44 PM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • awe:( i think keep talking to her, and a transfer might be a great solution for her! are you close with her? let her know that she can come to you with anything! good luck

    Answer by mywonderyears at 11:46 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • She is close to, if not already in, puberty, and that's a rough time in the life of a girl. I would just work on not letting her spend too much time alone in her room. I would also talk to her a lot about how self-centered people are today and I would encourage her to concentrate on being the best person she can be and to not worry about not having friends. The more self-assured you can help her become, the more she will attract friends later on. Plan some fun things to do with her on the week-ends and I think she will be fine.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:50 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • oh mom i have been there with my dd at well i didnt see the signs when she was goin thru it..she does sound depressed..try an get her therapy also..if u can try a church based group..she may find some comfort in church based groups..find out what she is really intrested in a m/b u can find her some things that are based on it...tho my dd is on meds for depression..i continue to encourage with love an hugs much as possible..
    u have no relatives on either side of the family that she can hang with or m/b go to school with so she wont feel so alone..

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 11:50 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My daughters havent reached that age yet but i do have a younger sister who lives with me that age. Girls that age are very impressionable, i cant express how much, i couldnt believe how much my youger sister knew, about everything! they soak in everything around them and try to sort it out. I think the best thing you can do is spend alot of time with her, or if you work alot find a program for her to meet other kids, but the time with you would be a great thing for your daughter even if its jsut a quick walk after dinner every evening. And touching back on being impressionable it would probably also be good to see the kinds of things she is soaking in from tv, music, etc. Help her build great self esteem! good luck to you and your daughter!

    Answer by Jmakeupmommy at 11:56 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Maybe by being in a gifted classroom, she's under too much pressure. Is this her first year in middle school? Maybe she would feel better if she was put in a regular classroom she would feel better. Is it possible that she's bi-polar? A few years ago my niece was feeling bad for herself and told her doctor she didn't understand why she felt this way because she had so much going for her. He determined that she had it, and it runs in the family on her father's side.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:19 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • hormones may be one thing that is causing this.. but what are her interests? try to get her into after school programs or sports that she will enjoy, or find an out of school class for her that she may be interested in. Chances are if she finds an interest she enjoys, she'll find others that share her interest and maybe make a friend or two that way.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:36 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I would get her into other interests whether it is 4H, Girl Scouts, sports, music, etc. so she can meet other girls and have some outside interest. Is she just saying she doesn't have any friends and being overdramatic or is it really... the truth. A girl her age needs friends.

    Answer by cat4458 at 5:09 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • That is SOOO sad!!! I would do everything n my power to help her. Perhaps start by taking her to family counseling then look into a new school. Is she interested in any sports or school activities???
    Maybe help her be more outgoing & personable???? HUGE hugs, I hope she can be happier!

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 2:14 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Geeze mama. This is horrible. I would say that she's definitely depressed. My step daughter was also gifted and isolated. I wish I would have had her transfered because she began acting out at school just to draw negative attention to herself. She started drawing only the really strange and depressed kids to herself and they kind of all formed a group. There were lesbians, vampire wannabe's etc... yeah... I know... anyway, she just did this because she didn't fit in anywhere else. It was like all the misfits banned together and started doing things that really got themselves in trouble. Oh and my SD eventually got kicked out of her accelerated class. Get her help now, mama. At the least, she needs someone to talk to and a place to feel like she belongs.

    Answer by shellakers at 12:01 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

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