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4 year old with sudden aggression!

My 4 year old daughter has recently gotten into talking back and even so much as giving me the look of hatred when i try to dicipline her she goes as far as hitting, pushing and biting and even flipped me off the other day. No matter what I do it doesn't work and when i ask her why she did it, she lies and says something like my imaginary friend did it or that she didn't do it. She is an only child and I can't get her to express her anger should i be concerned or is this a phase or should i consult a professional??? I am at my breaking point as far as trying to solve this alone...

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Asked by andielina0984 at 12:06 AM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (22 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • ask her more about her "friend" sometimes that is more real than you think

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:08 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • some if it I would blame on a phase, but the imaginary friend concerns me a bit, and for that along with the aggressive behavior would make me want to have my daughter seek a professional.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:09 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • She has been saying for about a yr now that she has a friend named "Charlie" but whenever she is in trouble, it's Charlie's fault...I never gave it two thoughts since a lot of kids have imaginary friends but as far the anger that started after she saw a little girl beating her mother at disney world i stopped it dead in it's tracks and now she is getting really bad over the past 3 weeks or so but other than that she is always happy

    Comment by andielina0984 (original poster) at 12:15 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Check your relationship with your daughter. I know kids would prefer to have our full attention 24-7. Perhaps it is a way of telling you that she wants more attention from you. Since that girl who hit her mother probably got a LOT of attention.
    Also you say you stopped it dead in it's tracks..referring to what she saw at Disney World. Did you explain then, in terms she could understand that it is not nice to do and that mommy feels sad or something similar? Sometimes when it comes to seeing abuse to a parent on like Wife Swap or Supernanny I watch my children's reaction to the kids acting out. Then I give them a play by play and use their compassionate nature to help them understand why that attitude would not get them far with me.
    Recently have you had anything new added to her normal routine? New baby. A job. Family issues? The reason I ask this is because sometimes a child will act out the only way they can...acting up.

    Answer by truetigress at 1:19 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • To continue from my last post to you...
    The child will take their aggression and fear and openly be more aggressive. She can't quite reason out her feelings so she would display her anger on someone who she knew would love her no matter what. That appears to be you. *Congrats by the way* Another challenge of motherhood.
    Another thing...does she attend school and if so is there a reason there that might contribute to "Charlie's recent aggressive nature?" Maybe trouble getting along with the teacher...students? Perhaps she is upset because something is harder to learn than others?
    Honestly when a child sees another child act out I don't think they put it on their list of techniques...I think it's just another tool that they use to convey their powerful emotion to which they don't understand.

    When you have ruled all these out, then seek professional help. It could be a learning disability or health issue.

    Answer by truetigress at 1:29 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • my DD has a "friend" named cinderella that does all the bad stuff.. Zoe will mouth off or walk into the bathroom and say everything she wants to say but doesnt have the guts to say to our faces. We have started time outs from lying.. two weeks and counting she gets better everyday

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 3:53 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

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