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3 Bumps

Past, Present, Future

My boyfriend and I are dating for the second time. Our first relationship moved too quickly, and as a result, we broke up. We took a few months to evaluate things, and decided to get back together. My question is, do you think you can overcome past behaviors from the first relationship and make your second relationship work? For example, sometimes I'll say to enjoy the rest of his night, literally meaning that, but when I used to say it before, sometimes I'd mean that I'd want for him to come see me. I know it's not an easy process to get past things that became a habit before, but I'm wondering if things can work if you try hard to not repeat the same mistakes?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
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    agriffinmom4

    Answer by agriffinmom4 at 12:45 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I definitely think you can work through things you dealt with in the past, especially if you are both invested in making your relationship work the second time around. Communication is key, and this is your chance to rectify anything that didn't work for you guys in the past. :) Good luck!
    aliceryannesmom

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 12:48 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I think it can work, sure. But I would need to have a mutual agreement if not a contract that things start over completely with no past resentments or issues coming into play. In other words, you should both agree that the slate is wiped clean and that neither one of you should hold anything that happened in the past against the other. Act as if it is a TOTALLY new relationship, that is the only way I could see it working.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:55 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • If you want a different outcome, you have to do things differently. I agree with Truthteller. Start COMPLETELY anew
    CassyzMom

    Answer by CassyzMom at 9:28 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • My DH and I did it. We dated in high school and broke up when I realized we were going down two very different paths. We kept in contact over the years and gave it another go when I was in my late 20s. This time I screwed it up by taking advantage of his good nature and wanting something else.... I learned very quickly how lucky I had been to have a man who treated me like gold and went crawling back with my pride torn to shreds, promising to appreciate how wonderful he was.....

    Needless to say we've been married now for 3 years and have 2 year old twins. If you want things to work with him you have to stop playing the little mind games and just tell him what you want. He can't read your mind and it's not fair for you to expect him to. If you want to see him then say "Why don't you come over, I'd like to see you". Being honest is the best thing you can do when you love someone. Let him know he's wanted woman!
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 3:33 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

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