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Would you stay in the marriage for the sake of the baby?

Ever since the birth of our daughter we've been going downhill. DH says I've changed. Obviously! I'm a mom now. I have to set an example for our daughter. I don't want to party or have his "good-time" friends around constantly. I get pissed off when they want to blast music while the baby's sleepin. I can't be at his beck and call 24/7. We need to provide a stable home for our daughter. I've told him this countless times, but he still carries on.
I have a wonderful relationship with my father. I'm miserable, but I don't want to deprive her of her father. Would you just suck it up for the sake of the child?

 
CassyzMom

Asked by CassyzMom at 8:36 AM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • No No No ...please dont! I have two beautiful children and yes like you i stayed in a terrible retionship for the sake of my children. I thought it was the right thing to do for the reasons you listed. However, as the relationship got worse. violence, cheating, etc in the end all the kids saw was exactly that. It hurt them worse than if i had left. Finally i left, i married and he has been there father for over two years almost three. Their dad decided since we were not together he did not want to be their dad. As sad as it may seem. it happens alot when two people stay together for the children/child. I hope you do whats best for you because in the end it will be best for the children..Good luck i hope it all works out for you!
    Doormat27

    Answer by Doormat27 at 1:40 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I would not. It isn't fair to anyone involved. Even the baby. Children can sense when things aren't right between their parents. I would try family counseling first though. That to is only fair. It's fair to try, it's fair to let go when you have tried all options.

    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:47 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Tell him to grow up or get out!! I know that's more easily said then done.... but maybe he doesn't realize how immature he is acting!!

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 8:42 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Do Not Stay For The Children! it doesn't help - at the very least you'll resent them...
    MeggieSwan

    Answer by MeggieSwan at 9:42 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • My husbands parent couldn't stand eachother. He told me is was a relief when they finally separated. He didn't have to listen to it anymore.

    I am happy my mom and dad are not together too. He was an alcoholic. He went on to start a new family with new kids and they have a ton of issues because of him.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 8:41 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • My parents stayed together for us children and made our lives a living hell with all of the fighting. When they divorced I was very happy!! No, don't stay together for the kids, but also make sure you've tried everything you could to fix the problem before splitting. Let him know that if he doesn't straighten up by a certain time that you are seriously thinking of divorce. You guys also sound young and perhaps he'll grow out of this soon. Good luck.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 8:54 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I'm 25, he's 31. Is there still hope for change?
    CassyzMom

    Comment by CassyzMom (original poster) at 9:14 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • There's still hope I would think.... maybe he doesn't realize just how fed up you are. Guys are dense like that. You really need to have a serious discussion about it for sure!!

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 9:28 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • As other people said I would not stay for the chilfren I too was happy when my parents split I couldnt see my mom suffer anymore for him. The house was calmer and the peace return. I will try talking and counseling before leaving. If he is not willing to even try that and you are fed up with him them I think the best will be to leave. Good luck hope he get some sense in to him
    Alisim

    Answer by Alisim at 9:33 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I stayed for a while in my miserable marriage for my daughter. In the end though I realized that the environment was not good for her. I didn't want her growing up thinking it was ok for a man to yell at her the way my ex always yelled at me, and that it was ok to treat people like crap. I wanted better for her and divorcing has made it better for her. Also, we got divorced when our DD was 2 1/2, which I think made it easier for her than if she had been older.
    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 10:25 AM on Oct. 1, 2010