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2 Bumps

Does your teen have his/her own money and do you give it to them or do they work?

My DD 16, wants to go to movies, mall, bowling, get gifts for all her friends, get coffee/books, etc., and she'll need car insurance soon, but we are having a hard time with shelling out for all this right now. She got a job, but now wants to quit because she says she doesn't like it and working Friday afternoon till7 and Saturday till 5 is cutting in to her volunteer time and down time. She has a boyfriend, who she sees maybe after work Fri or Sat, or Sundays...but he wants more of her(and now all of a sudden, his friends, another couple, too) She's been venting to them, but I want to instill that she is responsible for some of her financial stuff, not quitting to hang out with teens...who are mostly unsupervised from what we can tell. Would you tell her she can quit, but forgo the $ extras, and only if she maintains the extra curricular stuff like volunteering, clubs, etc? Tell her to find a different job?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • When I was 16 and had a job, my parents didn't give out money anymore. If I wanted it I had to save for it, or go without... I also had to contribute to my car insurance. I also had horses, and had to pay for their feed, etc... I think you should sit her down and talk to her about saving. It is possible to do it on her own.. She doesn't have living expenses, and working is very important, so I wouldn't let her quit her job unless it was interfering with her school work.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:06 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I would tell her to make sure she has another job lined up before quitting her existing job. Also, tell her you won't be footing the bill for car insurance so if she is looking forward to driving it will give her an incentive to keep working. But also make sure that her school grades aren't falling because of work. 

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 10:13 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • My 17 y/o has a job and pays for his wants (car expenses, cds, ect) I have told him if he quits then he doesnt have these things because he is old enogh to get those things hisself. He also pays 1/2 of his insurance. He is still in school and has a girlfriend. His girlfriend knows that if she wants him to take he places and buy her stuff, she better let him work and not interfere with his job.
    lchristianson5

    Answer by lchristianson5 at 10:15 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • My girls work ..Both are in college full time my 18 year old is a sophmore and my 20 years old is a senior.. Both have been working since age 16.. Hanging out is 3 on their list with friends so to speak the are focus on their education first,they wanted to be independent so we allowed them to get the job but if they where not able to balance school then the job was out. They have done well,they pay for their cell phone bill , car insurance & car notes ...
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 10:19 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I would explain to her that if she quits the job then she is also losing her source of "fun" money. Let her know that you provide all of the necessities for her but if she wants to be able to do all of the extra things she seems to like doing then she is going to have to continue to work. Ask her how she is going to afford her social life???
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:33 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • If you can't afford to give her the money for these things then she can earn it or do without.We are fortunate and have been able to give an allowance and pay for insurance but they are expected to live with in their budget.For our daughter once she turned 16 we even gave her a budget for clothing because we wanted to be able to pay for college also.Not quite that bad but there is a limit what ever it may be and that is just how it goes.I would encourage her to find a job she likes but if she chooses to have less money let her make that choice.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 10:35 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • This is a great teachable moment.

    Would you or your husband quit your job to have more time to hang out with friends? I am guessing No since you have responsibilties and bills to pay. Your daughter can look for a different job, but honestly her schedule for a part-time teenager job sounds very reasonable. If you want her to be a good worker as an adult then you should be encouraging her to be a good worker now.

    It is reasonable to expect a teen to contribute to their expenses. If she is full-time in sports, music or some other time consuming positive activity you can help, but there should be no quitting a job to hang out with friends.

    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 10:58 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • My 18 yo has been working for about 2 years with part-time jobs and paying for most of her own wants, especially car insurance. She's also on the high school swim team so we pay for her insurance for the 4 months of that. We're paying most of her senior year stuff like pictures, but she pays for all her "fun" stuff, like tanning and going out with friends. But we make it very clear that school comes first and if her grades start to suffer, she'll have to quit working. So far, so good!
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 1:02 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Mine are 16 and 15. Neither of them have jobs yet. They do chores and help out around the house and in return they get money to do fun stuff. Thank goodness they don't ask for much. :)
    Roadfamily6now

    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 1:35 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • .... All 3 of my girls Earn their money thru doing chores. However we subtract if their chores are not done daily. So 20.00 looks pretty good until we start subtracting $1.50 per day.... Motto: If you Need it Mom and Dad will buy it / If you Want it then you buy it...
    emily1230

    Answer by emily1230 at 5:27 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

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