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4 Bumps

How do I make the transition easier for them?

My husband and I are separated(will file for divorce in feb) kids stay with me, and visit with him every other weekend. However, he lets them get away with everything...and I don't. They have rules, a schedule, and discipline while with me. Needless to say, when they return from being with the time I get them settled back down, it's time for them to go back.. PLEASE HELP!

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Asked by blueeyedbabyz at 10:28 AM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 8 (231 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Can you talk to him and ask him if he can follow some of the same rules you do? That way the kids won't be so rowdy.
    Danielle C.

    Answer by Danielle C. at 10:33 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Talk with him if possible and explain the problem and the effects on the children. Work towards good communication with ex. This is going to be a long haul and you will need it. How old are your children? Keep at it. You have to train your kids to be good responsible people.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:34 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • They are 5 and 2.

    Comment by blueeyedbabyz (original poster) at 10:39 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • You need to talk to your ex and come to an agreement about what you expect from them. That you would like him to keep the rules, so that they're not coming back rowdy and unruley. You also need to talk with them about what you expect from them, and let them know that they cannot get away with the same things that they get away with at their father's house. Make everyone aware that there are rules and you would like everyone to follow them.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:02 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • The rules at your house are dramatically different than the rules at the pool, and the rules at school, and the rules at grandma's... kids can adapt to different rules much more readily than most people give them credit for.

    Reminding them of the rules when they're coming back into your home is a great idea. They're young --they probably do not remember on the way home.

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:12 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Talk to him about what is happen then they come back but also talk to the 5 year who is old enough to understand about rules. The two year is a little if(y) at this stage to understand everything. But you really need the co-operation of your ex is this is all going to work out.


    Answer by musicmom08 at 2:33 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

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