Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What can I do about this?

DH said what broke up our marriage was that I never treated him like a boyfriend. He says when he would come up behind me and hug me or pat me on the butt or little things like that, I would push him away. What broke up our marriage, I won't discuss because it goes much farther then anything like that. My question is...if I did push him away...what can I do so that it doesn't happen in my relationship?

What do you do to treat your boyfriend/hubby like a boyfriend/hubby...besides sex? What do you do to make him feel special? I don't want this to hurt my next relationship.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I strongly believe that you need to keep the spark alive if you want a successful marriage or long term relationship. Flirting and playing around is an excellent way to do that! Also, communication is key! I always joke around and flirt with my SO.. It keeps things fun, lol!
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 12:36 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Cuddling.. Kissing.. Holding hands.. Hugging.. Watching movies together.. Flirty texts..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:39 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I'll share what I have learned over my past 25 years of marriage.

    1) yes. some men do feel "pushed away" when their advances/approaches are shunned and rejected. Just like women do. The key there, is to teach your partner what types of advances/approaches you won't shun, ones that you do like, ones that make you feel like reciprocating. One can not assume that their partner just automaticually knows those things, they must be shown. And much like Pavlov's dog, when they see the reward (IE: reciprocation, and acceptance of the advance) they continue making the advances/approaches that receive the best response.
    2) Yes, men like being treated like a "boyfriend".. just like women like to be treated like a "girlfriend" even though many won't admit it. How many women do we see daily ask "What happened. Where did it go. Where's the romance..etc". We like being treated like a girlfriend. We like being woo'd and romanced.
    CONT.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 12:51 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • 2) So do men. They just express it differently and the manner in which they need/want it expressed is usually differnt. But the need and desire is still present.
    3) Flirt, love, laugh, romance and woo each other. Do those things at 25 years, just like you did at 25 months. The needs, desires change over the years so the approach needs to change over the years with those things. But the need to feel those things doesn't go away. If anything they grow stronger over the years. It's really easy for couples to slip into this mode where they just assume their partner knows how they feel about them, and take it for granted. We assume they know how much we love, desire, want, admire, appreciate.etc them.But they/we need to be shown those things on a regular basis. It's really easy to start feeling like your partner know longer feels those things for you, when they no longer actively show them to you.

    Cont.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:00 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Action and intention on BOTH parts is needed in order to keep those feelings flowing through the years.

    It's easy to get into a pattern where those actions and intentions stop happening on a regular basis. However, it's also easy to get back into the groove of displaying those actions & intentions to one another as well. People just have to do it.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:01 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I am married and we are having "issues" like that as well. However, i feel that there should be more affection that just sex. Sex is good and all but myself i like it when he is sympathetic, understanding, kind etc. If you not getting what you need chances are you can not give him what he needs? Maybe if he did more of that your sex life would change or your feelings would change? I am going through the same problem, as woman we can not help the fact that our emotions are attached to our sex drive. If we are being neglected as a woman , then chances are the "sex" drive just isnot there? At least that is how it is for me lately? Hope this helps?
    Doormat27

    Answer by Doormat27 at 1:34 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.