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how do you explain to your child he wont be able to see his dad for a while

I am having to file for custody of my kids ages 8 and 5 and i cant let them go with their dad until i have enough money to have an exparte order wrote up by a lawyer so if i let them go to their dads , he legally dont have to bring them back and has told me he wont , so how do i tell my kids that they cant see their dad untill we go to court and a judge grants him visitation

 
tomcatsbabygirl

Asked by tomcatsbabygirl at 12:56 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 7 (194 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • I know what ur goin' thru. I lucked out tho: and he found a chick who took up alla his time: now he has seen my daughter twice in four years. Some guys just DONT get it! We want our kids to have both parents, but sometimes it cant work that way. Is a parenting plan an option? You CAN get the fee waived! Take out a loan : Just fight for ur kids! U are their mommy, u know what is best! Its a scarey thought that dad can pick them up without u knowing. My heart stopped at the thought, because Im in the same situation as u. But, i got a parenting plan, at which, he didnt care to show up to court to dispute anything. But, my advice to u is for u to fight! U let ur kids know whats going on in an easy way. Always tell the truth, do not talk badly about dad, but ur kids understand n know more than u think! They know our feelings, our thoughts, and they feel our negitive energy! Always try to be happy n BE THERE for them!!
    SylivasMommie

    Answer by SylivasMommie at 12:03 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • maybe just a toned down version of the truth. That sometimes grownups have difficulties and there are times that they need someone like a judge to help them work things out.
    but that until you see the judge they can't see their dad, but that you both love them very much.

    something I'm curious about though-
    Are you sure you can keep their father from having visitation? couldn't he use the fact that you are keeping him from seeing them against you?
    Would be a good idea to talk to a lawyer or something to make sure the actions you take are indeed your favor.
    I'd ask woman's shelter if they know of lawyers that are offering pro-bono time to see if you can get some advice.
    Good luck!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:03 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • You know that he can pick them up from school, daycare or anywhere in public right? If you leave them with your mother he can go get them. This is going to look really bad on you when you go to court for denying your children the RIGHT to see their father and who to say you'll get custody anyways. Bashers: don't worry about voting me down, I don't care :)

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:22 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • How is it going to look bad on her when that crazy ass said he wouldnt give them back? I wouldnt take mine either. Just tell them that Daddy is really busy and they will see him soon. He sounds like he is angry and shouldnt be around them anyways.
    LuvMyMedic3ID

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 1:38 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • It is his right not to give them back. THEY ARE HIS KIDS TOO. She didn't make them alone and now she is going to attempt to make all the decisions now, alone. I would be angry too, if someone I trusted enough to marry and have children with took my children. It is his and their children's right to have contact with each other and a judge will tell her that. I don't see why women think that they have all the rights to the children in a divorce/separation.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:30 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • i have offered to let their dad see them numerous times but he has already threatend keep them if he got them . he said its his way or no way and we have NO custody papers just always been verbal
    tomcatsbabygirl

    Comment by tomcatsbabygirl (original poster) at 1:06 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • You are right mathewscandi they are his children too and he has every right to see them and keep them too just as she is doing
    sorry but that's how I feel also.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 9:08 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I have offered to let him get them everyother weekend just during school and to see them for weeks at a time during summer and holidays but it is not good enough for him , he sayes eigther i live around him where he can get them anytime he wants or just let him have them and what mother in her right mind is gonna just give her kids to an alcoholic whose house is infested with roaches. I have never kept his kids away but it is a little hard to put all this money into moving and still be able to drive the kids 2 hours at his beck and call .
    tomcatsbabygirl

    Comment by tomcatsbabygirl (original poster) at 9:15 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • just tell them its goin to be a lil longer than you thought without details
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 1:10 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

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