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I have a 12 year old step daughter that I see every other weekend. She is a awsome kids and I love her as if she was mine. Her mom leaves her home all the time and boys are coming over trhe house now when her mom is not home. She tell me everything. what should I do?

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Asked by danie84 at 5:29 PM on Oct. 23, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (11)
  • See if your husband can get custody of your sd if it is both something you want. It sounds like your home would be a better environment for a preteen/teen girl.

    Answer by proudmama1207 at 5:56 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • i would definately try to have a talk with her mom, if not try to get custody. since you and SD are on such good terms is there a way that she could come to your house after school, or whenever it is that she's being left alone? that's a hard question to answer not knowing what your relationship with her mom is like.

    Answer by Tarable525 at 9:51 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • document, document, document. provide the best environment you can at YOUR home. If you are trying to get custody you will need documentation and proof and in most states 12 seems to be that magic age when children are allowed to talk to the judge. Has your husband talked to the mother? I know some situations that would only make it worse. Thanks for being a good stepmommy.

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 9:55 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • You did not say if her mother knows about the boys....

    Answer by softchick21 at 2:17 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • How is your relationship with her mom? I think you or your husband need to share your concerns with her.

    Answer by mykidsrock77 at 3:27 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I do not know that I would talk to her mother. The problem is if you go to her mother and she does not know about the boys, then you Step Daughter may feel that you betrayed her and she may not talk to you about things any more.

    Another way of looking at this is that she does want to live with you. She may not want to hurt her mothers feelings by telling her she wants to live with her father now, so she is looking for another way to make it happen.

    I would talk to your Step Daughter and find out what she is thinking. There may be nothing going on and these are just her friends or there may be lots going on.

    Hope this helps and Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:27 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Interesting answers so far with only one involving the bio dad. Does he know about this situation? What is his take on it? Do you(more Dad) have open communication with the mother? What does the SD want to do? If all these aren't perfect then how about unfortunately being a realist and getting her on birth control. I know,too young! I absolutely agree but if this situation is going to keep occuring then well, better safe than sorry. She might not need it now but will soon!!!
    Believe me sooner than any of her parents want and that includes you!!! Good Luck!!!

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 12:47 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Her mom needs to know.Before there is a new grand baby or she gets a STD..I'd ask your husband what he thought the best way is to handle this.And be a team on this one, But you have to tell before it is too late.

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:50 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Tell your DH whats going on, and that you'd like to get full custody over her.

    Answer by MAyers at 4:09 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • offer to have her come stay at your home so she's not alone. It might be received by mom better than ripping custody from her.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:23 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

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