My Ds1's behavior is only getting worse.
Over the last year and half that he's been in my care i have seen him improve with leaps and bounds. And now i feel like we are going backwards at an accelerated rate. Even worse, we're not just going backwards to the behavior he demonstrated when I first inherited him but back to the kind of behavior he displayed when he was living with my mom (his first adopted mother. he's biologically my second cousin).
Unfortunately, because of the way he came into my care I can not get him any therapy until the adoption is complete, which should be within 2 months at the most. But i don't know how much longer i can handle this behavior without the guidance of a professional. In this week alone I have had to restrain him 3 times. And this time he managed to dig his nails into my arm enough to tear my skin.
Advice? Books? Resources?
Answer by Ericha7 at 3:25 PM on Oct. 1, 2010
How old is the child? Has there been a diagnosis? Was alcohol/drugs involved in the mother's pregnancy? Does the child go to school? preschool? Do you have other kids? Are you sure you want to take responsibility for this child and all the consequences?
Answer by Gailll at 3:26 PM on Oct. 1, 2010
It's great you have family support. Having a child with psychiatric issues can break marriages and families apart and the mother can be left on her own. I have a son with bipolar disorder. His father has bipolar and was diagnosed during my pregnancy. He wouldn't take meds, became violent, and it was the end of our brief marriage. My son first started having unusual behavior when he was 2. I had 2 older children (5 & 8 when he was born) so I was an experienced mom. He had developmental and medical issues and was already being treated at a children's hospital. They said it was ADHD. I didn't think so. The ADHD drugs never worked. I was in grad school and my doctoral minor was counseling psych. By 11 I was sure it was bipolar. He saw a good child psychiatrist and got on good meds, a must for bipolar. He is now 22.
Answer by Gailll at 4:11 PM on Oct. 1, 2010
We homeschooled and he started working when he was 15. He made it through the teen years with no major problems. He now has a good job, bought his own home with a pool in Tucson when he was 21, has a nice Jeep, and is going to college. How did we get from age 6 to now. He would have times before meds when he would loose it for no reason and we would have to restrain him. I read many parenting books, been to parenting courses, and taken psychology courses. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen is a good book. You may be parenting a long time. I still live with my son (I'm disabled) and do a lot to keep his life together. He was being mean to me and I found out he stopped taking one of his meds. He is on all of his meds & back to normal.
Answer by Gailll at 4:24 PM on Oct. 1, 2010
Advice. Expect parenting a child with a behavioral (psychiatric) disorder to be a time and energy consuming long-term commitment. The teen years can be very bad and you need to start preparing for them way ahead of time. You can't use punishment as your parenting style and expect it to work when he is a teen. There may be problems with school (if he is going), the police, girls getting pregnant, suicide attempts, property damage, all kinds of bad things. The hormones make everything worse. Make sure you get an accurate diagnosis and good care. Go to any classes you can in the community or college courses. Learn stress management.
Answer by Gailll at 4:36 PM on Oct. 1, 2010
My son has diagnosed RAD. It is SUPER FUN!!! *sarcastic* You are right in the fact that RAD a child is not born with. You will be hard pressed to find a psychologist that even knows what RAD is, you will probably have better luck with a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (Tricare does accept them.) Have you tried getting him on Tricare or your just waiting? If you have already tried and they denied it than try your local mental health center some of them charge on a sliding scale. There is no medication for him to take this young except a mood stabilizer. My son was passed around a lot as a baby and never attached to a primary caregiver so, he has no faith in adults especially women, lucky me! If you go to radkid.org it has therapy steps for you and him.
Answer by frogdawg at 10:06 PM on Oct. 1, 2010
Next question overall
(School-Age Kids (5-8))
Are you a parent of a chlid with RAD, ODD or other severe behavior issues?