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Is it Pueberty or Anxiety or just wanting to be with mommy?

my nine and a half year old daughter has a chest for a a year now, she is very emotional, cries easily. Well lately she decides that when it is time to go to bed that she want to cry and say my stomach hurts, she does not want to sleep in her own room. she makes herself throw up and today at school she decided that she was going to try and pull the same thing do you have any suggestions????

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Oct. 23, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • have you asked her? there could be so many things going on.. maybe there is a problem at school. do you share custody with someone? is there a problem there? i do know my tween can be so clingy at times and then flip into independence. she also complains a lot of those typical tween non- illnesses, headaches stomach aches, crying, etc. Eventually she will tell me what is going on. It just takes a little digging and a LOT of patience!! Good luck

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 9:52 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I think you need to talk to her. It does sound like she is in puberty, although something else may be going on. I would also talk to the school. I know at our school there is a councilor and the kids can go and talk to her about anything.

    She helped my middle child when he was having anxiety issues and I know she has worked with many of the other children in the school.

    If you can not figure it out then I would talk to the DR. My middle son ended up going to a therapist out side of school. She helped him deal with his feelings and things have been much better ever since.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:22 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • She probably can't tell you what is wrong if she gets so upset.I'd take her to a counselor and let them talk to her.Then ask the counselor what to do.Raising teens is really hard.

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:47 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Yes, like other posters said talk, talk, talk but also listen, listen,listen read between the lines. What huge project is coming up? How is Social Studies going? Who is her BFF?
    Has she started yet? Is that coming up in the next year? That can be very uncomfortable until you know what is making your "tummy" hurt. Lastly, remind her that until you can all figure out what her "health issue's" are that she is responsible to complete her tasks at home and school fully. Maybe a reminder that life goes on and we have many responsibilitie will readjust her attitude to take the focus off not feeling so well.Good Luck I too am in this tween stuff but with 2 boys. And they STINK!!!

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 1:03 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • something's not quite right, that's for sure. If she won't talk to you then talk with the school counselor and if that's not helpful then try an outside counselor. There is an excellent book called Reviving Ophelia about girls her age and low self esteem and how to help them. Something happens at that age and it changes them forever. Hormones? School? Peers? Combination of it all? Maybe someone is making inappropriate advances to her because of her development and she doesn't know how to handle it. Maybe kids tease her due to her development. She needs to confide in someone.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:28 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Talk to her guidance counselors and teachers. See if the guidance counselor can help her or if she needs professional counseling to address the schoolitis. It's not uncommon that kids to the SA, vomiting thing to get out of school. Give a heads up to the nurse too so she can let her rest and then return to class if she isn't feverish etc.

    Answer by manna1qd at 5:19 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • P.S. She is likely experiencing the ups and downs of hormonal changes. All kids don't have it to this extent but she needs you to relate to her and reassure her that this is a rough time for kids but she will get through it and you will help her. Hopefully, she already has school friends but that's a need if she doesn't. It's not fun to be a loner.

    Answer by manna1qd at 5:21 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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