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Do you live with a man who lies as easy as breathing?

He has an addiction
Will not admit it
Lies to cover it up

I am willing to support him, if he were to admit his addiction and seek help, but he is not admitting anything, in fact he just lies more and more. He thinks that I will not leave him, he is wrong. I will be gone before he gets home from work.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Stick to your guns sweetie! You shouldn't have to support him, it's HIS habit. If he doesn't want to admit his problem, then imagine what else he's not admitting to!
    x1love1heartx3

    Answer by x1love1heartx3 at 4:03 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • My husband is an addict, so is my father and grandfather (was). It took years and a lot of struggles before my DH was able to even see he had an issue. Addicts believe they are in control, and as long as they believe that they can't admit they have an issue, because they don't believe they do. They honestly believe what they say. That doesn't however, give him the right to lie to you about things. Even when my DH was using he never once lied to me about where he was or what he was doing - even when I didn't want to know. You can't force him to get help, but you do need to express to him that you would prefer the truth, even if it's not what you want to hear, than to be lied to. If you are serious about supporting him then YOU need to reach out and get support for yourself. Look up your local chapter of AlAnon or NarAnon and get yourself some support from others who have been there.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 4:05 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • you are doing the right thing God Bless! My Prayers are with you
    Marinemom03

    Answer by Marinemom03 at 4:05 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • It took a long hard fall to his "rock bottom" for my husband to understand he had a problem and get any help. And it usually does. My father has "not had a problem" with addiction for 15+ years, and lost 3 different families over it... I don't think he will ever get clean, frankly, I don't care if he does. My husband on the other hand did, and has been clean over 3 years, he's a completely different person, the person I always knew was there. But had he been hiding from be, lying to me, I never would have waited... I would have walked away a long long time before he ever got to that point... Getting clean isn't even an option until they realize there is a problem, and that usually takes an epiphany of sorts - which are usually rather painful for everyone involved...

    Good luck
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 4:09 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • i don't and really wish you well with that...
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 4:09 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • He is a sex addict, I found things again on his computer that are not ok.

    I am done with him, I would support if he was true to himself about addiction,
    but I will not be lied to
    nor will I wait around for him to take responsiblity for his actions,
    because by that time I may have contracted something sexually from him
    I have a child to care for and can not look away from his issue when it puts her mother in harm's way
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:16 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • best to you-
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 5:02 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I'd have to say yes. Except mine's addicted to lying - you know, pathological lying. However he has admitted his addiction to it and is working hard at it. I'd say he's made a lot of head-way and is speaking the truth about 75% of the time. Still lies, but it's a long road and he has my absolute support. I know he wants to change and he's proven to me that he has been trying hard. I'm sorry yours won't admit his addiction or seek help.
    Cenchan

    Answer by Cenchan at 5:13 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • That is what addicts do.They become very good liars.When he is ready to seek help,the first thing he will do is admit he is an addict.This goes for any type of addict.This comes from personal experience.
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 5:53 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I AGREE,

    AND YES, this is a kind of abuse......

    I have a feeling about ...you honey ♥♥♥♥

    PLZ mail me personally, or apply to group, say LAURA answered 1 of your questions, and invited you to group.....

    About Guardian Angels

    NO DRAMA ALLOWED!

    We have ALL been through enough!

    This is a safe place that you can come to cry, vent or release your frustrations even if you are not ready to leave your abuser yet.

    YOU WILL NOT BE JUDGED HERE!

    Everyone here from the Group Owner to the Administrators have once walked in your shoes.

    We are NOT professionals, but rather a group of women offering our support based on our personal experiences.

    We are a very active and informative group.

    Please take the time to read posted information & add to it, in order to help others

    http://www.cafemom.com/group/15807
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 9:25 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

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