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3 Bumps

How do I get my 18 yr old daughter to straighten up and get out?

She moved in with her father at 16 yrs old because we were too strict for her tastes but then a few months ago realized her father was worse. He finally got tired of her and kicked her on the streets so we let her stay in our studio apartment with the hopes she will go to college and get a p/t job...well she missed college enrollment last semester so she isn't starting till January and still not even trying to find a job. I am done having the "talk" with her every week...ugh...I am at a loss

 
4_28_bbboy

Asked by 4_28_bbboy at 5:18 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 22 (12,593 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • My mom use to put us out when we were in her house. Bad thing when my children turn eight teen they will have different rules if thsy live with me such as rent 125 amonth, lights 25 amonth, water 25, amonth, food if they eat my food i charge. It all depends on the situtions that we are in. I was paying rent at the age of ten, I had to pay bills all my life to my parents because they where on drugs I had bad parents. I am not that way i adapt things as we go with my kids. I see that they are stuborn like me and indepent and only ask me for things if they can't figure it out. that is when I step in some times I really don't have the means so I sugest things for them to do or places for them to go. I have housed over twevle homeless kids that come over to the house to eat. I know they need food. i suggest that they to local food banks and stuff.
    dorotheabrown37

    Answer by dorotheabrown37 at 2:09 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Give her 30 days notice, tell her October is the last free month and her rent ill be $XXX.XX a month starting November 1st, and tell her if she doesn't pay she will be evicted.
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 5:20 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • You can't give someone a 30 days notice that doesn't have a lease agreement. If you want to be serious you need to draw up a lease agreement and make her sign it and agree to it. Then you can go about evicting her if she doesn't pay.
    Leigh519121

    Answer by Leigh519121 at 5:33 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I'd go with making her sign a lease and pay rent first..

    silversmom I don't know how you could kick your kid out at 16 for not getting a job, that's not only rough, but illegal in some states.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 8:57 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • she's 18. If she doesn't want to follow the rules, she doesn't have to live with you anymore. Mine was 16 playing this game. she was out of my house and spent about 3 weeks couch surfing before my mom took her in on the dairy farm. she got her act together real quick like. Worst parenting dilemma ever. Good luck!
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 5:21 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • agree with Mom2.............tough love.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:10 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I have a 20 year old like that. When you figure it out will you let me know? I can't kick her out cuz we are in a new state & it would be WAY too scary for her. (perhaps that is what she needs, but I don't have the heart)
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 12:17 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • NicolesMommy, and others, you can always get them to go into the military/ reserves or TeenChallage or Forestery Service or Job Corps. Job Corps is great because they live on site and go to school to learn a trade. I've had friends that have come out of their with great paying jobs and at the same time did some growing up, learned to be responsible! Check the yellow pages for one in your area or call this 800-544-5627for admissions and placement. They can send you a packet of information about the different job trainings available and what they have to do to qualifiy for it. Hope this helps
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 4:46 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Make her pay bills. She is a legal adult, you just print them out off the computer and give them to her. I did that with my sister when she decided she was going to quit her job when I let her move in with me after she fell on hard times.
    txlady06

    Answer by txlady06 at 5:42 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I agree that it's time for some 'tough love'. I was 17, working, and had my own apartment. Now at 21, I am married with two babies, have less then two years payment left on our trailor, and just bought our first home (fixer-upper on land contract). My son is three and already has chores. Responsibility is something that she needs to learn. Be tough Momma, and I'm sure she'll thank you for it later! Good luck
    momma_marian

    Answer by momma_marian at 11:54 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

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