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What would you do?

My husband had an affair last year. I didnt find out until a few months ago, and since then its been a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days I find myself trying extra hard for his attention to make sure he wont do it again, but at the same time I have lost almost 60 pounds not even trying, I lash out in fits of rage at times, find myself more irritable than usual. Its so hot and cold with my emotions lately and I dont know what to do anymore. I thought I could make things work, but I have grown so cold. I found out so much about this affair that it just haunts my mind everyday. He took her on trips out of town, spent quality time with her all the while ignoring me and his children. I am so lost and dont know what to do anymore. I have grown so cold that whatever he does its not enough for my standards. I dont know if I should stay or go anymore.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Counseling. For yourself, but mostly as a couple. You gotta talk about how you feel, what you fear, if you can trust him again, etc. Start there to figure out if your marriage is save-able.
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 5:27 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • That is a toughy...I would not want to be with him anymore once you get hurt me that is it but then again it depends how bad he feels on what he did. I would demand the same treatment if he was able to splurge with her he better make it up with me somehow. Now if you are able to take care of yourself and the kids go for it. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 5:28 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Counseling is the way to go. It sounds like you're not over it or even trust him. I would have him move out while you get your emotions n order and figure out what you want in this relationship. Just seeing him is probably not helping.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:36 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • First of all,I am so sorry that you are going thru this.It is something that is really hard to come back from.How can you trust Or when do you allow yourself to trust him again?If this was me,I would be going to some counseling.With or without him.But please mama...don't give up before the miracle happens.
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 5:43 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I hear you honey ....

    What about him ?

    Is he sorry ? Does he "want" your trust ?

    If it was me, he would be kissing my ass, everyday ....

    come to my profile, apply, for my abuse group say "LAURA" invited you and say that I , answered 1 of your questions.
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 9:18 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

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