Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How would you handle this situation: Overly opinionated grandma...more inside.

My grandma, who is 70 years old, told me today that she doesn't want me telling everyone about both of my boys have Autism. She said that she doesn't think that I should put anything about it on facebook and that I should just keep it to myself. I on the other hand, do fundraising for Autism Awareness, wear an Autism Awareness bracelet and have a magnet on my van. I feel as though she is ashamed of my kids and their medical challenges. How would you tell her politely to back off and that I don't plan on hiding their condition, no matter what she says.


Asked by Leigh519121 at 6:52 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Kids' Health

Level 15 (2,261 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Tell her that you're still working on their cages in your basement and once those are done she won't have to worry about them embarrassing the family any more.
    I find that, at least with my family, sarcasm goes a long way in getting people to back off.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Say something like, "The more people that are aware of the disease, the more likely a cure can be found. And then, they can be cured and not have it anymore." It might be all she needs to change her mind.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 6:55 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Awwww. I'm sorry she's like this. I feel your pain. My son has autism too.
    Just tell her you're proud of your kids and autism is nothing to be ashamed of. being an advocate for your kids and all the people out there living with the disorder is a great thing. Thank you!

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:56 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Remember that her generation grew up talking of people with illnesses in hushed tones and kids who had autism or downs were often institutionalized (and rarely ever mentioned.)

    My mom (who is about the same age as your g'ma) was the exact same way when my youngest was diagnosed with epilepsy in April. I said that I had to tell people because there is going to be a day that I will not be with him (like dropping off at a friend's) and they will have to know what to do. And the more I work and fund raise for research the better a chance that another child will have better care in the future. Maybe that will make sense to your g'ma as well.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 7:01 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I'm sorry too for your own Grandmother feeling that way. That being said you need to politely tell her they are your boys who you love dearly with all your heart. You are active in these organizations to get help w/this so people w/opinions like hers are not out there, and that some day there can be more help and awareness of this illness. It's an illness like any other and she needs to love them for who THEY ARE. Tell her it hurts YOUR feelings when she says those things to you and keep those thoughts to herself, and it's hard enough without of all people a relative saying those kind of things to you, my best to you.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 7:10 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Cheers to you, mama for raising awareness! It is so awesome that there is so many therapies available to these children. Maybe show her how you've made connections to other parents, health providers and helped other families by sharing your story.

    Answer by mevxoxo at 9:46 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • As a mom with a child on the spectrum I understand how you feel. To me it sounds like your grandma is a product of her generation, back then you did not talk about such things- it was kept secret. She may also be trying (in her own way) to protect your child. I would let her know that Autism is on the rise, and it is important to make Autism known and people aware of what it is. Tell her that it is nothing to be ashamed of, and the more people who know the more people who will be more tolerant and accepting of your child and others with Autism. Cheers to you for raising Autism Awareness!!

    Answer by MizLee at 1:18 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Thank you everyone! It is so hard for me to understand why she is so hardheaded about it, I guess like balagan imma said, it's just their generation and how they were raised. I was considering asking her if she thought I would make anything off of them by selling them to one of those freak sideshows, but she doesn't take sarcasm well. lol

    Comment by Leigh519121 (original poster) at 7:04 PM on Oct. 1, 2010