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2 Bumps

what would you do if you really wanted another child but . . .

dh wasn't on board? we have one dd who is just over two. we are getting "married" december of 2011. i wouldn't want another child before then, but i'd love another after the ceremony. dh says no. i was thinking about having my mirena removed and not telling him. how awful is that? i know relationships are, and should remain, based on trust. but what if you wanted another child so badly? what would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:10 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • i think that if my SO didnt care that i wanted another child, and what i wanted was just out of the question, i might think twice about marrying him. i would put my foot down and tell him its not just about what he wants.
    i dont think you should just give up on that, because comming from an only child, its gets very lonley and your really dont want your daughter to miss out on having a sibling. its one of the greatest things in life.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 7:48 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I was in that situation once before and it was a little different but in the end I learned that everything happens for a reason and to NEVER take faite into your own hands cause it will blow up in your face.Once you lose the trust its one of the hardest things to get back.Nothing will ever be the same..Hope you think it through.Let him know how badly you want another child.

    Answer by Jess987 at 7:20 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • dont stop your bc without discussing it with him...try to tell him all the positive things with adding to the family...and who knows he may change his mind. like my sister did and tell him that you're not talking bc anymore...and it's his turn to use it bc...and trust cant always remember to put on a comdon in the heat of the moment...LOL

    but jokes tell him u are stopping the pill

    Answer by TezMoM at 7:19 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • i would just wait and see how he feels after you're married. he might change his mind. if you do get the mirena taken out, of course tell him. that would be so evil to do that behind his back. what if this happened to you: he told you that he had a vasectomy, but instead he just went out to get ice cream. he came home, told you he had it done, and suddenly you turn up pregnant. and then his answer to that was 'well i wanted another baby, and i know you didn't so i decided to trick you.' i'm sure you would be highly upset. i wouldn't want a baby with someone who didn't. they might resent the baby and want nothing to do with him/her. how would you explain that to your child?

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 7:29 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Well every time I have wanted a baby. We talked and talked about it. I just had to wait till hubby was ready each and every time.

    Answer by Raeann11 at 7:16 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Don't get pregnant behind his back. Try talking to him and he, either will come around or say no. But really, you want a child with a man that doesn't want one? Don't force anyone to be a parent.

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 7:25 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • well i totally love babies and i'm glad my hubby wants a lot. your asking what i would do. i would get pregnant. he would change his mind when you get pregnant. plus i wouldn't want my kids to far apart. with mirena your not testing fate. you will not have a baby with one in. now if you take it out and then leave it up to fate then thats another story. i think some guys would be happy to never have kids again. most just don't have the desire.

    Answer by melody77 at 7:26 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • if you take out the mirena you need to tell him. my mom had me but wanted more children. my dad didn't at the time. so she quit taking her birth control and got pregnant three more times. my dad loves all of us but resents my mother and they divorced. is it really worth risking your relationship? if he doesn't want another child you can wait until he does or be with someone who wants more children. have you asked him why he didn't want more children? did you know he didn't want more children when you first got together and had your daughter? don't get pregnant behind his back. he probably wants to wait for more children. if that's true you will have more children but you have to wait.

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 8:33 PM on Oct. 1, 2010