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12 Bumps

Want to hear some jokes?

A blonde and her husband were lying in bed listening to the next
door neighbor's dog.. It had been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.






The blonde jumped up out of bed and said, "I've had enough of this".


She went downstairs.


After coming back up to bed, her husband said,
"The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"

The blonde said,



"I put the dog in OUR backyard, let's see how THEY like it!

 
Amelia512

Asked by Amelia512 at 9:55 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 21 (11,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • LOL those are great!
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 10:00 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • LMAO
    mp3mom

    Answer by mp3mom at 12:27 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • lol
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:57 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • LMAO! omg my sides are sore!
    rhanford

    Answer by rhanford at 1:01 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Two Blondes With Hammers...



    Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity
    House.



    Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail ,
    Pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.


    Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you
    throwing those nails away?'



    Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them

    have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'


    Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't
    defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
    Amelia512

    Comment by Amelia512 (original poster) at 9:55 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a
    drive-in movie?
    They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
    Amelia512

    Comment by Amelia512 (original poster) at 9:55 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
    hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she
    took it to a repair shop.



    The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun....

    He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe
    really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

    So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and
    started blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a
    little harder, and still nothing happened.


    Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?'



    The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
    into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.



    The roommate rolled her eyes and said,

    "Like, hellooooo, You need to roll the windows up first!"
    Amelia512

    Comment by Amelia512 (original poster) at 9:55 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver
    Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and
    took it to the clerk to ask what it was.


    The Clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos. It keeps cold things cold and hot things hot."

    'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So
    she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

    Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?


    'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold
    things cold,' she replied..

    Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

    The blonde replied......'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
    Amelia512

    Comment by Amelia512 (original poster) at 9:56 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger.

    His mother tells him to stop it as he is liable to break something, but the boy continues.



    'Mikey!' mom screams, 'KNOCK IT OFF before you break something.



    He stops & eventually mom leaves for a short trip to the store.



    Mikey starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left the house. He gives it one last flick & it lands in the toilet....where he leaves it.



    Mom comes home & while she is putting away the grocery, she gets the urge...diarrhea run.

    She barely makes it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.



    When she finishes, she looks down and can't believe what she sees.



    She is not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet....she calls her doctor.

    (Continued)
    Amelia512

    Comment by Amelia512 (original poster) at 9:59 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, he assures her he will be right over.



    When he arrives, she shows him to the bathroom. He gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.



    Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be & POP!

    The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere...on him, the walls, etc



    "Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.



    He states....."I have been in this business for over 30 years and this is the first time I have ever actually SEEN a fart!!!!"
    Amelia512

    Comment by Amelia512 (original poster) at 9:59 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

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