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my husband filed for divorce on adultry charges. can he still do this if he forgave me and we continued to live together as a married couple?

My husband is an abusive alcoholic. He has emotionally and physically abused me for 2 yrs. I did have an affair that he found out about, but forgave me and said he wanted our marriage to work. On the Labor Day holiday, he started drinking and deliberately caused an argument with me in front of my 3 children. He become physical with me, so I left for the weekend. When I returned home, he had already changed the locks on our home, had my cell phone turned off, took all of our joint account credit cards, changed our joint checking account to another account so that I would not have access to any funds and started to threaten to destroy my belongings if I did not come and get them. I've been a house wife for the past 2 yrs because he did not want me to work. He has filed for a divorce on the grounds of adultery, however he calls me everyday begging me to come home. I do not want to continue with the marriage. How do I handle this

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Asked by prettygirl78 at 10:00 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Everything he did is illegal! Get a lawyer.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:04 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Um not everything he did was illegal....he can take all the money out of the account if his name was on it...he can change the locks on the door...he can file for divorce under adultry...

    Answer by Shelii at 10:13 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • a child shall lead them....
    (from the bible)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • If, I was you I would contact a lawyer and talk to them about what your options are, but I know that abuse towards you and/or the children and if you have witnesses the better, things would be alot tougher on him, if you have support go to them and ask for help, hope everything works out for you and your children.

    Answer by Army108th at 10:24 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Get a lawyer. Fast. File for support, if you have not worked you are entitled to it. It is up to your state laws on whether or not he can file for divorce under adultery. Some states will not let you if you have reconciled, but it may be up to the courts to determine what a reconcile is. Find out if adultery makes him an injured party and if that will affect the distribution of your assets. If might not matter how he files. It might also matter if you go back if that will affect the divorce on the grounds of adultery. I'm not telling you to return, just giving you options. In the meantime, find work so you do not have to depend on him or anyone else.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 10:25 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • what made him file under adultery, and did he file it only after he led you to believe his actions were just greed based only, and he got in your face and tricked you not to ask him back, adding insult to his own story, then you gave in, (like me) and left to have love somewhere, got into a living situation together, due from me not being able to handle the drama, and he like a male, finally sues me in court for adultery, after 4 months of first wanting a divorce when I was never seeing anyone.

    Is this how yours happened? Mine was just a big show for the courts to get a reason for him to file, not wanting to be with me wasn't reason enough, so I just tried to stay, and got very sick of his one way street. ALTHOUGH we truly never wanted to be together, Because I did, didn't mean he did. He was not very affectionate. EVER

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • oh, yes find some thing to make money at that you won't bury yourself. ( I'm being nice.) Like give yourself an out, and a way to make money at it, while also being happy doing that job.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants but you do. Get a lawyer too. Depending on what state you are in what he by closing the accounts and taking money maybe illegal at least in many states. It is community property. Even if you had an affair in most states means nothing. The divorce will be under irreconcilable differences especially since he stayed and tried to work out the marriage which is what most judges want before the final decision to divorce.
    He filed so he either wanted to scare you are just piss you off because he is upset that you had an affair. But he did take you back which makes him either a hypocrite or confused since now he is begging for you to come home. Just call an attorney for advice on what the next steps would be for you.

    Answer by Congenial at 10:30 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • get a lawyer. if you want out just leave, affairs only bring extra drama

    Answer by 3xangel at 11:27 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I would advise you to talk to a lawyer. I think that you are getting the short end of the stick.

    Answer by hsmominky at 11:42 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

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