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Is it normal for you to fall in and out of love with your SO?

We have been together for almost 4 years...And every time I get angry with him, it's like I fall out of love with him. Not completely but almost in definatly. I am not sure what causes that. But a while back he told me that he doesn't have the same feelings for me that he use to, because he is not in love with me like he use to be. His reason for that is because I don't want to share our daughter with his family. Because they don't treat me right. And I am not going to let them hurt her. I love him more than anything and when we aren't fighting I am in love with him. So what do I do to help him fall back in love with me again. And how do I keep myself from falling in and out all the time?? Can anyone help me?

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Asked by sexxylilmama203 at 10:30 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (43 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Does he ever see how his family treats you? and if so and its not right if he thinks that is ok, I really dont think that its going to be different for your daughter. I dont think that there is really anything that you could do to make him fall in love with you again, unless he says and or said things to just hurt you, you need to sit down and really think about what its going to teach your daughter and if you would want your daughter to be in that kind of relationship.

    Answer by Army108th at 10:36 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • It's normal to have hot and cold times in your relationship if it lasts a long time, yes. But this sounds more like a serious problem than normal fluctuations. My advice is to talk talk talk. Really hash out your feelings together. Write notes if you have to (I find it helps me because I don't get side-tracked and forget any of my points). Work out the problems and if you're meant to be, you will stop feeling lik eyou don't love him when you fight, and he will feel better about you because he will understand why you don't get along with his family.

    Good luck!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:40 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Maybe since he has told you his feelings that now it has made it harder for you to let him into your heart? Knowing that he doesn't feel the same way about you can make you feel less love for him. he should be on your side when it comes to his family and they treat you. I would be devastated if my DH chose his family over me. He knows how you feel but sides with them/ Not right in any marriage or relationship. He should stand behind you and your feelings. I would not wan to be married anymore. If he doesn't stand behind you then you may never get past your feelings coming and going. Just a thought I maybe wrong but this is what I see with your story.

    Answer by Congenial at 10:40 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • First, he has to be willing to work on why he feels differently. Does he agree that his family is nasty towards you or does he think you are being hysterical? Point out if his family is being ignorant to your daughter. Even if they are not, the way they treat you will affect the way she looks at them. No one wants to see their mom abused. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you don't want to wring his neck sometimes. That is not falling out of love, that is being angry and when you calm down you will love him again. We all have times we want to hurt our SOs.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 10:42 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Relationships take work and it takes both people to do that. You both have to want to make it work, and there has to be give and take. it cant' be all one sided. When you are angry with him, that is when you choose to love him. Love does fluctuate as another mama said, but love is a choice. Each day you make that choice. Family is obviously very important to him and he wants you to be part of the family he grew up with. Give them a chance. Sometimes it takes more than one meeting to warm up to people. It took awhile for my in laws and me to have a really good strong relationship. But each side has to make an effort. Good luck, hon.

    Answer by duckigrrl at 10:59 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Has his family ever seen your daughter? There is a possibility that may treat her differently. What did his family do when you got married? How did they treat you then?

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:10 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • yep, been there already....

    Answer by tjnorton at 3:51 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

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