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2 Bumps

Is it important to share your child with both sides of the family? His and mine?

My daughter has known and been around mainly my family only. Because of the simple fact that I don't appreciate the fact that his family don't like me for all the wrong reasons. And I feel as though if someone don't like me. They sure as hell ain't going to like the child that looks exactly like me. I grew up not knowing my dad's side of the family because of the way that they treated my mom. My dad didn't push it because he loved my mom and he wanted to be with her. And that being said it doesn't mean that you can't still talk to your family right? RIGHT!!! And that is the same attitude that I have. I am not telling him that he can't see or talk to his family. I am just trying to get him to understand that I don't want my daughter in that type of family involvement. Am I wrong for feeling that way? I mean is that me being selfish? Or should I let them see her when they disrespect me?

Answer Question
 
sexxylilmama203

Asked by sexxylilmama203 at 10:43 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (43 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You've got to at least give them a chance instead of just assuming how they're going to treat your daughter. Grandkids can change a lot about a persons opinions.

    That being said, there is a lot of family that my kids spend very limited time around because we dont agree with certain family's lifestyle, or morals, or whatever.
    MommaTurbo

    Answer by MommaTurbo at 10:45 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • First, why do you think they don't like you? If you love your husband you won't keep your child away from his family. I think they may respect you more if you didn't use your child for revenge. I would kill his family with kindness and let your daughter come to her own conclusion when she get older.
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 10:48 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Thank you...and the reason that I think that they don't like me is because ever since we got together. His family doesn't want him with someone like me. Someone that will keep him out of trouble. Shit his sister called the cops and got him arrested for crying out loud. They don't want to see him happy and are always starting arguments between Jake and I. I don't want my daughter around people that all have drug records, and they are all abusive to their spouses' . So I know that they don't like me because I am unlike his ex girlfriends whom just sat there and took what they dish out. I will not. I was not raised that way and refuse to let people get in my face. I am a grown woman and I know when to say something back and when to walk away. It's the simple fact that his sister doesn't like to keep her mouth shut. So I refuse do anything that involves his family. They are always asking him personal stuff about me. I don't share.
    sexxylilmama203

    Comment by sexxylilmama203 (original poster) at 10:59 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I dont think your wrong. Maybe becaue Im the same way. His family cant stand me and always talk bad about me. Well you can do that all you want but not around my children. Couldnt care leass how anyone else feels about it.
    reigndrops12689

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 11:05 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • IMO, I do not think you are wrong or being selfish. I would not let them see my kids if they disrespect me. I would do the exact same thing as you are doing. If someone wouldn't like me then they don't get the privilege to see my children then, plain and simple. My DH would back me up too. Sounds like yours is too if I read correctly. They are the ones missing out on their grandchild not you. They choose to live their lives a certain way that you do not agree with and you as the parent have every right to keep your child away from anything negative. Their loss not yours!
    Congenial

    Answer by Congenial at 11:10 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • For your kids' sake, you should share your kids with both families. I don't know why you think they "disrespect" you or why you think they don't like you,but your kids need to know their grandparents and you need to stop thinking only about yourself. Maybe they will respect you MORE if you don't keep the kids away from them. You have to earn respect,you know. Maybe you have an "attitude" and you better get over it and start acting mature to be respected.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 11:29 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • It is important to me that all the extended family get to spend roughly equal time with my children. When we go to visit, I work to make sure that everyone gets to see them. But, I'm not dealing with what you're dealing with. My husband's family treats me with love and respect; they always have. And my family treats my husband with love and respect, too. My children are spoiled rotten by all of their grandparents, exactly as grandchildren should be. ;) However, if I were being treated like you are, I'm sure I would feel the same way you do.
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 11:30 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I personally think it is! Why wouldn't you???????????
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 11:43 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I don't think that you are wrong. Since your family doesn't seem to care about you, (I know this feeling), that opinion will probably never change. For that reason, I see nothing wrong with your husband going to go see his own family. But when he does, I would ask him not to mention anything about you. But if they are asking how you're doing, he can tell them fine and leave it be. Your daughter shouldn't have to go through what you've gone through, it is morally and ethically wrong.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:01 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • What is happening is between you and t hem, not your children and them. By not allowing them to be seen you are dragging your kids into the situation.
    Mipsy

    Answer by Mipsy at 12:09 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

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