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2 Bumps

i am seperated from my husband and now have a bf, my husband use to treat me like crap for 8 years, he didnt work and if he did have a job, he would say he would quit if i didnt have sex with him, now he wants me back and says he has changed, its been a year and my bf is good to me and my kids but i dont know what the right thing to do is.i dont wana go against god, but im afraid to get hurt again.

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brandiy7

Asked by brandiy7 at 11:40 PM on Oct. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • if you are happy in the relationship you're in right now stay with him.. there's no need to ruin a good thing if you and your s/o is happy!!
    proudmommy690

    Answer by proudmommy690 at 11:42 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Your husband sounds like a grade-one loser, who doesn't respect you, and probably will set a horrible example for your children. Be with the better man.
    Evansmommy91

    Answer by Evansmommy91 at 11:43 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Hey,,God doesnt want you someplace that you are being hurt. Sounds like God helped you get out of that situation that you where miserable in for such a long time. They always say they have changed to get back in. God wants you and your children to be safe and happy, do not settle for less, ever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • In my opinion once an ass always an ass. If you have a good thing going keep that good thing!
    mcadoojess

    Answer by mcadoojess at 11:45 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I know that you are worried about what God thinks. I do not think that God condones divorce but that he understands in situations such as these. I was divorced too and really worried about doing the wrong thing. I wanted to be sure I was pleasing God so I went back three times. I felt like we had a child together and he was "trying" according to him so I should give him another chance. Everytime I went back it only lasted for a little while and then he was the same person again. Generally abusers do not change. They will tell you whatever you want to hear in order to get you to come back and then they try to control you again.
    I think if you are happy then you owe it to yourself to stay in your relationship with your new boyfriend and not look back. Good Luck Sweetie.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 11:45 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Take out the probably I put in there!
    Your children will learn to treat women the way they see their father treating you, remember that....Especially if you have sons
    Evansmommy91

    Answer by Evansmommy91 at 11:46 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Listen, if after eight years he didn't change then he hasn't changed now. He treated you and your children badly for eight years for whatever reason, and he had no desire or want to better his behavior. He only wants you back now so you can support him and his pathetic excuse of a being. You deserve better then him and you know that. Your children deserve better then him. Everything that he did/does your children will learn. Is that who you want being their role model? A deadbeat who treats their mother and them badly? You know the right choice, and it isn't to go back to him.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:52 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • well guys have a bad tenancy of wanting what they can not have and he once had you and did not know how to treat you...HIS LOST...you move on and be happy not just you deserve it but your children deserve to see mommy happy...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 11:56 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Honey, what do you mean go against God? I believe it was God that gave you the strength to get out of that abusive relationship! that is not good for your kids or you, you deserve better!
    I don't believe God would want you to suffer like that!
    I think it was your husband that went against God to treat you like that, I believe that marriage vows are to be treated with respect, and the way he treated you is against that!
    believe me, we learn from what we grow up in, and your husband set a bad example to say the least!
    If you are happy, then you stay put!
    at least don't go back to your husband if he is not who you want!
    I'll be thinking of you!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:00 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • thank you all so much for the fast replies, i have been so confused and was almost going to go back to give him another try, but u all all right, he had 8 years to treat me good, and i even tried to tell him i was gonna leave.. when i tell him he had 8 years to be good to me he says he didnt think i would ever leave.. i know its not right, but i think alot of the reason i wanted to give him another chance is because he met a girl thats crazy about him and it will hurt so bad if he did change and treats her better than he did me, as if i didnt deserve it.. i know that sounds crazy and unfair, and i dont want this other girl to be hurt, but it hurts to think that she will get all of the love that i shouldve got.. i will be ok, i think it is time to really let go, and for good.. i got over a few guys i never thot i would.. i dont know why we think we wont be able to move on without someone, cuz we are just fine once we let go:)
    brandiy7

    Comment by brandiy7 (original poster) at 12:18 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

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