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how do you deal with tantrums?

my 3 yr old has horrible tantrums especially in public and idk how to handle or fix the problem! plz help! its extremely embarrassing...does anyone have any ideas that has worked for them?


Asked by VERONICAS_MOM at 2:50 AM on Oct. 2, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • i always let my son make his own decision.. if he is upset over something i tell him you can go to your room and cry or u can stay here and talk to me.. In the store my son threw a fit once i was pretty blessed... lol.. he was crying about something he wanted.. and i told him to stop or we were leaving.. and he didnt so we left (which really sucked because i really needed to get a few things) i took him to my friends house dropped him off and told him im going to the store without him because he doesnt know how to behave there i went and got my things (he was very upset) and the next time i had to go out i asked him if i needed to drop him off or if he could be a big boy and come with me.. and he said big boy.. from that day on he was good in public..

    Answer by SammiGirl07 at 2:58 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Avoiding them is by far easier than trying to make them go away when they're happening.

    Tantrums are symptoms of a problem, rather than a problem themselves. Once they're happening, the whole world flips from 'a problem' to 'a reality.' You get to deal with reality --you can only fix problems.

    The problem is that the child is overwhelmed by... well, it can be anything: too much stimulation, outlandish expectations, unspoken rules, fear, hunger, thirst, exhaustion, boredom, having to go along with others' and their rules, feeling powerless or pushed around or dismissed or ignored or lonely or too hot...

    The trick is to see what is likely to be problematic (you've had her for 3 years, some of it has to be getting kind of predictable) and alleviating it before she loses her ability to keep it inside. See when she's getting hungry and feed her. Notice when she's getting antsy and change the scenery. Et cetera.

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:55 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • My doc told us to make sure there's nothing in the way to harm them..and walk away..and say in a calm voice "when you are done mommy would like for you to use your words and not kick and scream...doc told us that it's children's way to get our attention and when they dont have anyones attention they will stop...and it worked..yes it took about a month but you will gradually see the change...also applaud, or reward them when u do notice a change...GL..hope this helps:)

    Answer by TezMoM at 3:04 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • yeah, ive tried alot of those things. but i guess she just rather just scream and yell and cry. most of the time she forgets why she started.. today we were shopping and she wanted a stuffed animal and we said no. stayed firm and allowed her to choose another toy but she fell apart.

    Comment by VERONICAS_MOM (original poster) at 3:01 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • wow, sammigirl that is awesome i hope itl work my daughter.. that is something i will def. try. thank you!

    Comment by VERONICAS_MOM (original poster) at 3:04 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • you are welcome! it really works!! and its a great way to teach your child right and wrong! and to be independent. I always let me son pick.. i always say.. u can listen to me or go to your room.. and sometimes he goes to him room.. and ill just ignore him until he decides to listen to me, it sounds really harsh.. but it works and i dont do it that much at all anymore...

    Answer by SammiGirl07 at 3:11 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I recently took a class in behavior modification, and one of the things we have learned is that a lot of times kids throw tantrums for attention. If you think that your child is doing this out of attention, the best thing to do is grit your teeth and try your best to ignore it, and by ignoring it I mean try not to acknowledge that it's even happening. Chances are that when you're in public you try your best to calm the child down so you won't be embarrassed... thus giving him reinforcement to have tantrums more. It might take a couple tries for the child to realize that they are not going to get anything out of a tantrum.This is a really hard thing to do, so I wish you the very best of luck!

    Answer by Namaste17 at 7:55 AM on Oct. 2, 2010