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4 Bumps

doing something stupid

i got behind in my rent. my husband died a year ago. he was only 56 and im only 55. he was just starting to get on social security disablilty. i get money from social security for taking care of our son who is disabled. well my manager has told me i need to move out in 10 days. i have no where to go except to a hotel. my daughter doesnt want her son in a hotel hes 3. im talking about one with a kitchen. im worried if he went to stay with his dad my daughter wouldnt get him back. the babys other grandma has been looking for ways to say my daughter was unfit and finding away to get her hands on my daughters son. my daughters 19 and pregnant. she works and goes to community college. she and i have been the only ones supporting her son. i want to move from where were at. we live in a very expensive state. what should i do.

Answer Question

Asked by stressedoutgran at 3:01 AM on Oct. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,324 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Go back in time and pay more attention to the choices you're making with your money.

    Today, you have to deal with where you actually are. Look for women's shelters or transition houses (there is often a lot of free space in them, so just being homeless and not beaten will get you in)... look for friends who have more space than they need, or cottages or spare homes, who you might be able to use for a while to get your shit together.

    Oh, and probably get a job. Or another one.

    Check with the college, to see if there are any emergency funds available.

    10 days notice suggests to me that it's been a while since you did anything about the shortfall on the rent, not that you just didn't pay this months. Perhaps you could develop the habit of dealing with things as they develop, rather than waiting for them to turn into emergencies?

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:06 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • frtom you answer there is no answer

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 3:19 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • First, I'm sorry to hear about your dh :-(

    Secpond, is there a way that you can find another apartment - even if it's not a very nice one or where you want to live, that you could rent and move into for a short time? Because trust me, I've stayed in the type of hotels you're talking about (my dh is military, and when we transfer, we often stay in hotels with the little kitchenettes with them), and that adds up faster than you think, which just adds to the problem.

    I would suggest looking into a very cheap apt that you could move into quickly, then, given your situation, once you have the immediate need for shelter addressed, maybe contacting Habitat for Humanity and seeing if they can help you.

    If they can't (even if they can), then you can look into things like food stamps, wic for your dd and grandbaby, etc, to help with the finances.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:29 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • my daughter aready gets wic. its my credit that sucks. also out here you need to pay 2 1/2 or 3 times the rent.

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 3:39 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Do you attend a church? The reason I ask is because often congregations will have resources in place to help out congregants (or other community members) who are in need if you ask them.

    Also, if it's that expensive where you live, you might need to look at moving to a cheaper area - research costs in your area - not just your town, but in neighboring counties, states, etc. Or, your dd might have to look at putting her college on hold for a yr or so and working full time (or having 2 jobs).


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:49 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Ok, first, sorry about your husband.

    Next, maybe your daughter needs to work. She has a three year old and a baby on the way??? What is she doing with herself?? Pregnant with the first at what? 15 and the second at 18?? Why wasn't she using birth control if she was having sex that young? She knew how hard it is with one and now she is having another?? Where is the father of the second child?? Maybe the best thing for the three year old is to live with his father and family... How fair is it to this innocent child that he is being dragged around because of the bad choices that are being made by the adults in his life?? You say you have a disabled son that you are getting paid to care for?? Maybe you need to concentrate on getting somewhere with him and taking care of him like you should be?? Your daughter needs to grow up and be a woman and care for her kids.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 3:54 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • yeah ive thought about it i do want to move i just need time to look. ive thought about putting things in storage and looking at different areas in the state i live ive even thought of just packing up and moving out of state.

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 3:55 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • what state do you live in? i dont know all the types of programs in every state but is there any way you can get some type of housing assistance? i know there are usually waiting lists for that type of thing so if it something you would be interested in then i would do it sooner rather then later. have you tried getting any other type of assistance?:

    Answer by MamaSusieQ045 at 3:59 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • first let me say my daughter does work it maybe part time but she does work. she is also going to school so that she can make a better life for her son. as far as the other babies dad hes is a no show. he already has a 5 year old daughter. id love for my daughter to go to a vocational school instead of a community college. as far as her sons family there is no family . remember were talking about just graduated high school kids. my grandsons other grandma lives with her friend has no money of her own and is sick. dont be quick to judge. i wrote here because i felt i needed help and ideas no judgements

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 4:05 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • i am on a waiting list it takes 2,3,or 5 years to get assistance

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 4:07 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

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