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3 y/o daughter with issues about Mommy leaving her at PreK....

We're starting in our 3rd month of preschool, and every morning my daughter cries. She doesn't want me to leave her there. She's fine about going until we actually get there. We've tried giving her something to look forward to, like the park after school, or a new toy, things like that. She always says "I won't cry", and she doesn't until I'm walking out the door of the preschool. We had parent-teacher conferences today and her teacher said this was her only concern for my DD.......Any ideas will be GREATLY appreciated! Thanks Ladies!

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Asked by Gretchen0122 at 8:26 PM on Oct. 23, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • I also have a very attached 3yr old daughter. But after 3 months? I would be afraid something else was going on, like a mean kid or something? Or maybe she's just very attched? Not sure what else..Hopefully someone else has a better answer :-/

    Answer by bizima4 at 8:31 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • when i used to go to this group, they had a room for my daughter to go in and another room for my son to go in, i used to just drop my daughter off in that one room and leave and work with my son. Apparently it bothered the people that were taking care of my daughter and told me that when i drop her off i need to sit her on my lap and play toys with her a little and talk with her and make sure she is ok. She wasnt attatched to me but i think they just felt a little sorry for my daughter with me just dropping her off and leaving her right away like that. It may not be a solution but i guess its something to start off with.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 8:44 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I worked in preschool for a long time. Children sometimes cry during the drop off transition. How long does she cry for? Are they able to redirect her to other activities soon after you leave and the crying stops? You mentioned a parent teacher conference and that was the only concern, I am guessing that they are able to redirect her attention from the drop off transition. Some children the separation is a sad one and can only express it with tears. It is the only way they know how to express the feeling. Some children can express it by using words. Reassurance her that you will come back for her. I know the feelings you are having, my little girl did the same thing for several months. I would go down the hallway out of sight and listen to see how long she cried. If the lead teacher was there and could get her redirected quickly the crying would stop quickly. If a different teacher was there if would take longer.

    Answer by Meerkatie at 9:04 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Thanks ladies. Her teacher did say that she only cries for a minute. As soon as she goes to her cubby and puts her coat up she's fine. But it's just the initial letting go that we're having problems with. She's never been around many other kids before, and we had never left her with anyone other than her grandparents. Her teacher did tell us that she plays with other kids,usually one on one, and she doesn't interact with a group of kids, she kinda stands back. She will have another year of preschool next year, so maybe it will be easier, because she'll know what to expect. Thanks for your opinions!

    Answer by Gretchen0122 at 10:49 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I am very happy to hear that the crying is only for a minute. 3 yr olds start out playing side by side, then one on one, then groups. Group play is seen a lot more in the 4 and 5 yr old age range. The standing back and watching is normal and leads to the next stage of play. The other children have been in daycare longer and have progressed through the play stages. Your daughter is doing great.

    Answer by Meerkatie at 12:38 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

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