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another crappy paternity situation...

What would you guys do in this situation? You have a wonderful, beautiful happy healthy well-adjusted toddler girl. Her "father" has another kid (a son) with another woman, who he treats terribly. He gives no money or support, but rants and raves and demands all sorts of rights to his son, who he ignores when he has him. If the mother of the boy won't let him emotionally abuse them, "father" calls DCF with invented charges (most recently, an allegation that the mother had been using crack cocaine- completely untrue). He doesn't work, and spends all of his time making his son's mother's life miserable. He is unaware that he has a daughter (yours). Should he be made aware of this situation, or is your daughters happiness and peace of mind more important than "knowing her real father"?

Personally, I think she's better off without an a$$hole like that in her life, especially with all the people she hs who love her. Opinions?

Answer Question

Asked by soflashelley at 10:12 AM on Oct. 2, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 16 (3,076 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I agree with her. If the guy is going to cause chaos in her life, she's better off without him. I;d tell her who her father is later and perhaps by then he'd have grown up. But right now she doesn't need that and nor do you.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 10:20 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • If your dd is happy and well adjusted and he is that big of a jerk Id say she is better off with out him

    Answer by mscamp0235 at 10:24 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Some "men" just aren't good fathers. In this situation, it's better for the little girl to just not know what a jerk her dad is. It's really a sad situation.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:26 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I think at some point your daughter is going to want to know who her biodad is, and for medical reasons she should know the truth. But in this situation I see no need to hurry the day up when she meets him (if she ever needs or wants to)

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:27 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • She is better off without that in her life. When my ds1 was born his father stated that he wasn't ready to be a dad. I decided that it would be better for my son to not have someone in his life who would resent him. I have left it open so that when the dad is ready to step in (and stay in) he is more than welcome. I have explained to my son and he knows who his father is, but has only met him once. Sad? yes but it is better all around for the child if they are at risk of being treated like crap by the man. GL mama.

    Answer by BriaMama at 10:35 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I wouldn't tell him till she was too old for him to have rights to.

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:20 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • In this situation, I wouldn't tell either of them until later. Why get extra drama in your life?

    Answer by ceallaigh at 8:01 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • i agree she does not need that to screw her life up tell her when she is older and let her decide what she wants to do

    Answer by gianna530 at 8:22 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Honestly I would wait. Bringing a negative person around your child is not good for you or your child. Good luck

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 10:37 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • i would say that i would not want to tell him because he is not a good influence and he is a negative person. i think you are doing good raising your dd without him being around. if he knew he would make you and your dd life a living nightmare. good luck hun

    Answer by sherryb1273 at 9:44 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

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