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3 Bumps

Why is the "other woman" the one always blamed ?

I was in a relationship with a man that I had no idea was married.... When I found out I ended it.... but his wife is taking it out on me...I had no idea he was married, and even so i am not the one who has a promise to her, he is..... and so now and he is still be seen and treated like a wonderful husband.. I am getting threat messages and hang up calls.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Oct. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • When i was in a relationship with my ex/baby's bio dad.. he cheated a few times..while i was mad at the one woman..because she knew about our situation and didnt care.. i was more angry at him.

    with the last one he was telling her we had broken up and blah blah blah... i was not angry with her but him.

    I think that you have no fault and if the hang ups and messages continue you should file a report with the police department, which will end it in most cases(with sane people lol).

    good luck

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 10:53 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I totally agree.... She isn't the one who hurt you. It's your husband who made the promises to you, he is the one to blame!!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:54 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • The wife is too blind to her husband's infidelity. It's easier to place the blame on the other woman instead of on the husband. YOU didn't marry her, HE did. He broke his commitment, not YOU.

    Answer by Fallaya at 10:56 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I've never understood why people blame the woman. Whether you knew or not he was married, you weren't the one that made the commitment to someone else, you weren't the one that decided to lie and deceive someone else... He was! No matter how you look at it, it's HIS fault, not hers (yours) ever!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:56 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • It's always the "OW"'s fault in situations like this. It's so easy for the wife to blame the OW, that way she can pretend that her DH didn't cheat on her, and that she's an amazing person that didn't do anything to push him away, etc.

    I'm sorry you're going through this. Change your number, ignore her - you don't owe her anything.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:58 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Some times the wife girlfriend or other partner does not know all the detail to you and his, her relationship. I had this happen to me I finally wrote his wife a letter explaining my self to her. That I did not know she was in his life and if I had knew from the begining then I would never had been with him. A few years pass and by accident she and I ending up in the same class she told me she had devoiced our man. She said she had recieve my letter and starting taking note and found out that the other women did not know he was married. He lied a lot and made it look like the other women was chasing him when he was the one pursuing and out side relationship with the women.

    Answer by dorotheabrown37 at 10:59 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Because its harder to believe the man is to blame its easier to accept the woman did it and hence forth the term homewrecker. I would get on the phone and tell this woman three things one I am sorry your husband cheats and even sorrier if you think I am the only one two I would tell her calling and hanging up on me is going to stop because it will not make him stop and three you need to brink it home to him where it belongs make him responsible for his own behavior. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:20 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED THE SAME QUESTION, the other woman is always the WHORE the HOME WRECKER the BITCH even if she had no idea the man was married or in a relationship, I don't understand it. I mean I do understand if the other woman KNEW the man was married or in a relationship but not if she had no idea.

    Answer by Brianna-Ravae at 11:27 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I do understand. It is not just the "other womens" fault. The wife should be blaming the DH. It is not like the other women forced the DH to have a sexual relationship with her.

    Answer by louise2 at 11:29 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • You invision that he is being treated like a wonderful husband. But you don't know that. Sure, hang up calls and threats are quite immature and pointless. What they are experiencing in their household does not concern you and should never have but since you aren't part of their household you really don't know much about what goes on there. She may be blind and in denial but you don't know that for sure even though that's how it may seem. One thing is for certain since she knows what happens you can be sure that there issues with trust and much more. Another sure thing, you should be very alert to the type of men you are getting involved with and not so much what is or is not going on in their home.

    Answer by NikkiMomof2grls at 11:30 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

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