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2 Bumps

Thinkin about Adoption if my Child has Down Sydrome..

I know that must sound horrible..like I am some crappy parent who doesnt want a disabled child and it's not like that. I am a 20 year old single mother with a 2 year old already..I have little help and little capablility to provide and care for a child with a disability. I am 32 weeks pregnant and am waiting for the results to give me a definite yes or no. But I am considering giving the child away if it does. I love my baby enough to want him/her to have the best life possible and I know I am not capable of providing for a disabled child. What would you do? Idk..I am so confused and lost..and scared..mostly scared..I keep blaming myself..and people are blaming the babies father..it's just weird beacuse he already had one baby with down sydrome (a different mother) who passed away from other complications at 4 yrs old..and now this baby 6-7 yrs later might have down sydrome too. I know its no ones fault its genetic..idk nemore

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Oct. 2, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I have a disabled child. If someone had told me this when I was pregnant, I would have said "I can't do this, I can't raise a disabled child!" I understand your fear, but he has truly turned out to be such a blessing. Sometimes life is overwhelming, but I love my son so much for who he is, what he taught me and what he has taught others. Here is a link to a poem that I hope will help.


    http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html

    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:16 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I have a friend who is 19 and she kept her child. It is a blessing to have a child whether it is healthy or not. She has no support from her family, yet there are organizations that are out there that have stepped in and she now has someone to turn to. I would not ever make excuses to give up a child.
    MaryWolfe

    Answer by MaryWolfe at 10:57 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • If you know that you won't be able to provide for the child, it is a loving thing to give him/her to someone that will give his a good home.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:55 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • My oldest son has Down Syndrome, if you want to talk you can send me a message. I know there are a lot of emotions going on when you are facing this kind of diagnosis and it's not easy. If you do put your baby up for adoption, know that there are entire lists of people who are waiting to adopt a baby with Down Syndrome.
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 10:58 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I know that this is a hard situation to be in but you have to think about the future also. Later in life are u going to be ok with knowing you gave the baby to someone else. If this babies cause is a small case but u dont know that and later that baby finds and comes to you asking why are u going to be ok with it. You should also think of how well you would be able to care for the baby. There are many different forms of help you can get with cases like this also. I would be very scared also but for me i would rather keep the baby no matter what was wrong with it. It is a more challenging thing to raise a child with a disability but at the same time can be a great reward in life. I have family members with a few different disabilities. One is DS and they are all very wonderful and special. Also very smart each in there own way. My cousin with DS is a computer genious. GL with ur decision but make sure u think of all ur options.
    tiffany0317

    Answer by tiffany0317 at 11:06 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • It's no one's fault when a child is born with a disability unless the parent was doing drugs or alcohol and child has problems stemming from that (or an STD related disability). But you know what you can handle and what you can't at this point. Or it may feel that you do. I've had a friend who was willing to give up her baby because she could not handle another child financially or emotionally --up until the birth. She's very happy she kept her baby even though she now has 3, is recently single and is going back to school. She's a busy mama!
    Dont make a hasty decision. Sometimes the doctors say the child "could" have down syndrome and it turns out the child is perfectly healthy. Or you may find you love her too much to give her up. Give it some serious thought and talk to someone --counseling would be great --before you make a decision. Good luck, mama!
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 11:10 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • honestly i know nothing about ds. so i couldnt tell you. The only thing i can tell is that the kids look different and they may be a little mentally slow but other than that is there anything physically wrong or health? idk. if it was just those two things i know i would keep my baby...i think you could always find help
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:00 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • you can't blame the babies father for something genetic..and if he already had one child that was born with ds then you knew the chances. If you werent sure you could handle having a ds baby then you shouldnt of had a baby with him because you knew that the chances were higher.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:05 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I am glad you are giving your baby away if it has downs syndrome, Any baby is a gift, but a downs syndrome baby is a special gift and not everyone can handle it. Someone will be so happy to be able to love that child and that child will get the love they desperately need.
    BriaMama

    Answer by BriaMama at 11:17 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I am sorry for your situation. I have never had any of these tests done because they can be wrong and cause unneeded anxiety. Please take into consideration what you will do if the test says your child has downs syndrome and is put up for adoption, but born completely healthy.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 11:30 AM on Oct. 2, 2010