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what to do ?

my 3 oldest kids dad is in jail but he hasnt been around in almost a year .. so heres the thing if they ask me about there dad wat should i say ..i dont wanna lie but i also dont want them to know where he is ..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Oct. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • You don't want to lie, but you don't want to tell them the truth?

    You're going to have to pick one or the other. Personally I always tell my kids the truth. No matter how unpleasant it is, it's always better than lying.

    Answer by my2.5boys at 11:05 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I would tell them where he is in a delicate way. Keeping the truth from them is just as bad as lying.

    Answer by mygirlpaige at 11:10 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • If they are old enough to understand, explain what he did was wrong and that people go to jail when they do that. I agree it should be done as delicately and simply as possible.

    Answer by elizabr at 11:13 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • My sister is in jail and her 4 yo knows where Mommy is. Unfortunately she tells anybody and everybody where Mommy is and what her Name is. You can tell the truth but make it child friendly. Like, Daddy didn't follow the rules and he had to go to a grown up time out.

    Answer by coala at 11:13 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • What is he in for??? Depending on what it is for try to explane it to them. Dont be harsh and make him out to be a horrible person but dont lie and make it to where they think what he did was right either. Explain to them that daddy did something that he wasnt suppose to so the cops put him in a place kinda like time out would be for them. Let them know that the cops did it so that he would know he cant do that anymore and that as long as he does good he will be able to get out one day but if he does bad stuff again then he will have to go back. Make sure they dont think the cops are the bad guys. This is what my grandparents did with me when i was younger. It helped show me right and wrong and the consquences that come with it when u get older.

    Answer by tiffany0317 at 11:14 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • hes in there for grand theft auto so i guess thats the part i would kno how to explain to them if they ask ...

    Answer by chulafromhtown at 11:16 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • you don't have to explain details. just tell him thats where he is...if they want to let them write him (if you don't mind them having contact) and let him explain..let them do the asking to him. You can tell them that you don't know why he is there.

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:20 AM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I think you have to tell them the truth. You don't want them to grow up with an exalted sense of who their father is, or keep lying to them when they ask about him. If the reality is that he's in jail, then I think they need to know that.

    Answer by Kentuckygal511 at 7:08 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

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