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HOW DO I COPE WITH MY DAUGHTER WHO IS DYING BUT DONT WANT TO BELIEVE IT WILL EVER HAPPEN?

MY DAUGHTER HAS CANCER, AND SHE HAS FOR 5 YEARS NOW. ITS BEEN A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE SINCE THE BEGINNING. THIS LAST RELASP THE DOCTOR TOLD US WE WERE GONNA LOOSE HER WITHIN 6 MONTHS. THE FUNERAL HAS BEEN PLANNED AND PAID FOR, MY LIFE SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE ITS GONNA END BUT I DONT EVER WANT TO BELIEVE ITS GONNA HAPPEN. SHES DOING WELL AGAIN BUT ITS ALWAYS THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM, ITS A NEVER ENDING BATTLE IN THIS HOUSE HOLD. I TRY TO WORK BUT I FIND MYSELF ALWAYS MISSING CAUSE I WANT TO BE WITH HER BUT THAT DOESNT PAY THE BILLS, I NEVER WANT TO WAKE UP IN THE MORING AND NOT SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL SMILE AND HEAR THAT VOICE OF GOOD MORNING MOMMY. IM LOST FOR WORDS ALL THE TIME BUT TRY TO SHOW MY EMOTIONS BY MYSELF. I FIND MYSELF CRYING ALL THE TIME RATHER ITS A MOVIE ON OR A SONG... I HAVE 2 OTHER BOYS WHO I HAVE NEGLECTED BECAUSE OF HER ILLNESS.... WHAT DO I DO????????

Answer Question
 
tjnorton

Asked by tjnorton at 1:53 PM on Oct. 2, 2010 in Kids' Health

Level 5 (80 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I am so very sorry. Be there as much as possible. See if your family can help you so that you can be with your daughter as much as possible.
    Seek out any other help you can. If she does not want to openly accept it, that is her decision. Let her handle it however she can. Tell her how much you love her all the time. Hold her close. Your boys know you love them and you would be there for them if they were in the same condition. I lost a son when he was 10 and a daughter who was 27. Your life will never be the same. I hope that you have someone that you can talk with.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:07 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Thats a very sad situation. Im sorry you are going thru this. I have had a baby in the PICU for 6 mos, so I understand. We didnt know if she was going to make it. For me, antidepressants and group therapy are key for making it thru this hard time.
    RenoMama

    Answer by RenoMama at 2:13 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • OH BELIEVE ME, I HAVE BEEN ON DEPRESSION PILLS AND ANXIETY PILLS FOR AWHILE NOW, BUT IT JUST AINT HELPING ME CONTROL MY EMOTIONS. I ALWAYS WONDER WHY GOD DOES THIS TO LITTLE CHILDREN. ITS NOT FAIR!
    tjnorton

    Comment by tjnorton (original poster) at 2:17 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I am so very sorry mommy =( I know this pain is unimaginable but you gotta get a strong support group and keep your family and life together. You sound as if you're falling apart, which is understandable and you shouldn't feel guilty for how you are feeling. I would be angry, I would hate the world, but you have 2 kids that need you and may resent her (depending on their maturity level mentally) and you have to pay your bills. Most important is a support group, someone to help with family needs and give you time to grieve and heal and help you. I am so so so so so sorry.
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 2:17 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I can only imagine the hell you are going through, just try to make the time you have with her the best you can, hugs to you moma, my heart goes out to you, hang in there. There will be plenty of time to make up for whatever neglect the other children might be experiencing, it is certainly understandable. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:28 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I don't have any advice or words of wisdom but I wanted to tell you I am so very sorry you and your daughter are going through this. If you don't mind, I will pray for your family.
    Mipsy

    Answer by Mipsy at 3:52 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • im sorry

    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:39 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • thankyou everyone, your kind words mean alot to me and my family
    tjnorton

    Comment by tjnorton (original poster) at 10:59 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • oH MY GOODNESS, a mother's WORST nightmare. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for you. Would grief counseling help? Could you take some time off? Perhaps you & your daughter could go on a little vaca together!
    My thoughts are with you, Hon!
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 2:49 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I am so sorry. I have no words. I will have you in my thoughts and prayers.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:22 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

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