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Annoying Family Members!


Family members that interfere
Does anyone have a mother or relatives that constantly interferes with how you raise your children, telling you what to do and undermining your authority? They try to make you feel like you are the worse parent in the world when you are disciplining your children? My mother never knows the boundaries and is getting on my nerves, mean while I'm a grown woman and she tries to make me feel like a kid when it comes to my child.

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autumnjoy3

Asked by autumnjoy3 at 8:57 PM on Oct. 23, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • ok, i REALLY got to say...who's inlaws dont do this?? yes, my inlaws do this but when they do say this and that, and you dont like it, just nod your head yes and go "hmm mmh!" then get back on with your life, they are going to realize they cant change you so why bother...
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 9:02 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Well I am a MIL now! And I make it a point not to interfer with their marriage, or the way they raise their children. I respect my DIL as a wife and a mother. I am very glad she is a great mother. But...my dh drives me nuts!! Now that we are grandparents we are very active in our grandchildren's lives, we are even raising two of them, the two that we raise I feel we need to be the discplinarians to, they won't get it anywhere else. We can't spoil them like we do the ones who come to visit. But he wants to spoil these two and it drives me crazy! They are 2 years,and 22 months...they are becoming little monsters!! LOL My dh makes me be the bad guy, and then says " Oh baby, come to PawPaw"....drives me insane!! LOL I agree with what another mom said though about your interfering in laws...just say, "Oh, I"ll consider that" or something like that. But no matter what they say you are in charge!
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:15 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Well... I have to say we are very "blessed". Not only to I have MY mom's advice, but I have my MIL, my StepMom, my DH's Grandmother, and "the rest". I have also mastered the bobble head and glazed over look, BUT I have also mastered the art of handing the phone to my husband, when they (his side of the family) get to be too much for me, and I say "It's for you!" They are great people, but... I have more gray hairs now, and also two great kids - I must be doing SOMETHING right.
    GNMom88

    Answer by GNMom88 at 9:22 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • my mom has told me that she's made it a point not to tell me how to do something. she said that i have to learn what's right for me and DD. she will give me her advice when i ask for it tho and i feel that she's being very supportive but not taking over. there is not MIL, she's been out of SO's life for a while now. i actually hate the fact that she'll never get to see her g-ma on that side, but there's nothing i can do. his grandma does drive me up the wall tho, constantly telling me to make sure that i'm holding her head when she's been doing on her own since she was born and i will NEVER let me baby have a paci when we're at her house after i saw her pick up DD's from the floor, stick it in her mouth to clean it, then give it back to DD. SIL was trying to convince me today that DD needed a sucker (almost 4 months) and i just kept saying "no she don't". i'll decide when it's time for my child to have a sucker.
    Tarable525

    Answer by Tarable525 at 10:05 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • My mom started that when I had my son 17 years ago.I just told her hey mom I have to learn and make my own mistakes. It doesn't mean I don't want your advice or opinions I do. Just let me parent my kid.
    She was a little offended. Hey she got over it and so did I. Sometimes I still got defensive, I still do. However if you never say it how will she know?
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:40 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • She's your mother and she should know better, but she is your mother and you can tell her exactly how you feel, you've been talking to each other all of your lives, I'm sure she'll be okay with it, she's probably just trying to be helpful, not knowing she driving you nuts
    My youngest is seven and my oldest is 32. My grandchildren are 2 1/2 months and 5 yrs. My girls
    (24 and 32) are not shy about saying " I know what I'm doing". I do love them for that. Makes me feel good that they have confidence.
    Star419

    Answer by Star419 at 11:08 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • They used to but I shut it down. I remember when my kids was really small and I would like my parents to sanatize their hands before being all over the baby. My DH was big on this too. My dad said he's just not touch them and my mother still abides by the rule. If they come from outside that is the way we like it. I don't care if they don't like it because it's our children and we're going to keep them as healthy as we possibly can. It's not fun having a sick child.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 11:24 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • yea. my mom does interfere, but not to the point where its down grading. and usually when she does get on my nerves, i dont tell her to buzz off cause my mom is ALWAYS right about EVERYTHING. i dont know how to explain it, but my mom just always knows. and there were times when i would go against her, and every time that i did, it was a waste of time cause her way is right, or was better. lol. so now, i dont even bother thinking twice when she gives me advice. lol
    however, my mother in law didnt interfere very much, but it was obvious she wanted me to fail. i always tried to find an excuse not to beleive it, but its true. and sadly, she always finds a way to put my hubby in the middle of it. =/
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • One of the reasons why I live on the otherside of the country from my mother. (Wink, wink).
    Natural_Living

    Answer by Natural_Living at 12:28 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

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