I'm a step mom to a a beautiful 8-year old girl and she has been caught in fibs in the past. Small ones like, "J, did you play the video game when you weren't supposed to?" She would reply "No." Even though she did. Then today, her dad asked what she ate for breakfast and she lied and said pancakes when she didn't eat pancakes. She had cereal! He asked her why she lied and she replied that she didn't know. We're both very disappointed but he hasn't addressed it yet. She's on "restriction" or "punishment" for the time being. But anyway, what do you do when your child starts to lie? How do you handle it?
Kids respond better to explanations than people think. You can punish her, but will that teach her WHY lying is wrong? It might let her know that lying wil get her in trouble, but it won't tell her why lying is wrong in the first place. It's important to know consequences of your actions, help her realize the consequences of lying (besides getting grounded) like the REAL life consequences. You can tell her stories of maybe when you were younger & got caught in a lie & how embarrassing it was. Give her examples of how it can be bad and explain to her that people won't believe her or trust her if she lies a lot.
Answer by samurai_chica at 2:37 PM on Oct. 2, 2010
Many parents believe that by trying to catch their children in a lie they are teaching them to tell the truth. In fact, they are encouraging them to lie. An important rule to remember is: If you know the answer, don't ask the question. State what you know and move on from there. "I see you played the video game when you were told not to, so now you cannot play a video game this evening." In that way, you are teaching your child to tell the truth by example and it prevents the incident from escalating. When your step-daughter said she had pancakes rather than cereal for breakfast an appropriate response would have been. "We didn't really have pancakes this morning but I bet you wished we did." That helps children differentiate between reality and fantasy.
Answer by teacher-author at 7:09 PM on Oct. 2, 2010
Answer by samurai_chica at 2:34 PM on Oct. 2, 2010
Answer by Cenchan at 2:49 PM on Oct. 2, 2010
Answer by seturkey at 8:31 PM on Oct. 2, 2010