Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Which house should have custody?

If everything else were equal, which house should have custody of the children, ages 4 and 6?

House 1 is a 2 story home in a nice, suburban neighborhood that's a quarter-mile away from a top rated public elementary school. The adults are a non-smoking, married couple. The man works from home and is only out visiting clients in the evenings after the kids' bedtimes. The woman is a SAHM.

House 2 is a mobile home in a very rural area, population 250 at the last census. The closest school is 13 miles away and is not highly rated. The adult smokes outside, doesn't work and has had 3 live-in "significant others" in the past 3 years.

Does it matter which house is the father's house and which house is the mother's house? Which house should be the primary residence of the children, with all other attributes being equal - same standard of living, etc.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Oct. 23, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • i think house one the kids are going to look at the positve believe it or not. the father works in the home at that!!! thats a plus, awsome school !!! these are the things i look for as a parent im soon going to fight for my kids i cant stand their neighborhood and i can tell how that alone effects them and it does i live in a very classy area and when they come things are so positive from both kids, as for when i go get them their attitudes arent good. very good ? ! more parents need to care like this i think it makes a big differance in the kids lives i see it all the time
    shannonmarie759

    Answer by shannonmarie759 at 5:49 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • It's not the same "standard of living" if one is a mobile home and the other is 2 story house.
    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 9:05 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Also if the adult doesn't work in the "mobile home" where does the income come from?
    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 9:07 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • The house of the one who didn't cheat!
    Someone left someone for someone else, I'm sure. The one who didn't have a choice in the matter should be able to keep custody of the kids. It's not his/her fault that the other spouse walked out of the marriage. They were not the ones who decided to only see the kids half of the time!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Well we can have our opinions on which home is better, but I"m afraid in the eyes of the law, they won't be bias against one parent due to income, or living standards. I see alot of "shared parenting" lately. I can't say I agree with this new trend, but that is the way it is. I have 4 granddaughters who spend 4 days with their mom and 3 days with their dad, but they are inrolled in school from their dad's house. Their mom has to drive them 40 minutes back and forth to school when she has them. This seems to me to be very confusing to the kids. It's like they are either at mom's house or dad's house...but never "their" house.

    IMO...just MO....I feel young children should be with their mother mostly. But since I am a mother, I guess I'm bias...but I really don't think so. In less of course their is a reason the mother shouldn't have them. Again...just MO... :)
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:10 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Whichever house mom lives in!!!
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 9:10 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • The HOUSE does not have custody of the children the parents do. The question is which parent should have primary custody of the children? If the children are well taken care of in both homes by loving parents that is what is important. I agree that the quality of schools could have merit. But a rural school can have quality education as much as a city school. The parents need to decide, honestly, which school is the better option.
    Meerkatie

    Answer by Meerkatie at 9:23 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • As long as there has not been and is no kind of abuse or neglect, the standard of living is inconsequencial (?). Where ever the children have been up until now is where they should stay.
    Children thrive and suceed at a better rate when they have continuity.
    Star419

    Answer by Star419 at 11:01 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Chidren need to live with the parent that is the most responsible.(money wise and emoitionally) My son lives with me only because his father has never meet him. When my parents were divorced my brother, Stephen and I lived with my mom and my brothers, Adam and Norman lived with my dad. Adam and Norm were in high school and Steve and I were in grade school. My parents gave Adam and Norm the choice to live where they wanted to and Steve and I were told we had to live with our mother because she worked a better scheduale. She worked a 9-5 job where-as my father worked night shift.
    babyboomboom

    Answer by babyboomboom at 11:21 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I agree with ANON
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Oct. 24, 2008