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2 Bumps

How can a peacefully deal with my daughter screaming at me?

My daughter is three years old. Having my twin boys, now 8 months old, did a number on her peace of mind. I had to start fresh potty training her (finally have her out of diapers), and she gets much more easily frustrated. She has taken to screaming at me when she is angry. I realize this is a learned behaviour, and am to blame for this. I have adjusted my behaviour, but not before it took it toll on my baby girl (moral of the story, be peaceful with your child). Now, how do I deal with the tirades gently, and without perpetuating a cycle of poor coping habits? It breaks my heart while driving me nuts, and I need some sound advice.

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Asked by momto1plus2b at 2:44 PM on Oct. 2, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 5 (89 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Establish eye contact- if that means you have to hold her shoulders, go ahead. Look straight at her and say in a quiet but firm voice exactly what you want her to to and not to do. It will take a while, but she'll get the idea. My kids had a similar issue, but they're much better now.

    Answer by wenchmommy381 at 2:51 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I agree with wenchmommy....I have been having the same problem with my 3yo (also my fault) and the only thing that works is to really get her full attention and calmly talk to her. Or I'll tell her that she needs to go in the other room and cool off before she can talk to me. Generally, she doesn't like that option, so she'll try a different tack.

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 3:17 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • That's what I have seen working, simply speaking to her calmly. Often times she just wants to be left alone, as she doesn't want to argue, just be heard. I am trying to make sure she knows I am listening, and also to stop yelling at HER so she doesn't see it as a normal means of communication.

    Comment by momto1plus2b (original poster) at 3:22 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • My nearly 3 year old yells as well (my fault because you can't get her attention AT ALL without raising your voice - even then that doesn't work.. and yes, I have tried to switch it up with calm, quiet voice. Doesn't work.) ANYWAY... when she starts getting an attitude at me and yelling nonsense, I point to her room and tell her if she wants to yell, she can yell in there and when she's ready to talk she can come out. Usually it works. There's days she just won't stop so that's when I make her take a nap. IF she's yelling and has a point to get across, yes, establish eye contact and get on her level and let her know she can get her point across without raising her voice like the previous replies state.

    Answer by Cenchan at 3:26 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • My daughter did that for a while. I would look her in the eyes and tell her to talk like a big girl. That babies scream, big girls talk calmly. She HATES being told she's not a big girl, directly or in directly, so that usually worked.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 4:01 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • i would block her out till she stops and then talk to her and apoligize if u yell at her. i would tell her lets see who will keep talking nicely without yelling and every time there is no yelling pick an amount of money like 10 cents and at the end of the week get a treat with the money you have

    Answer by gianna530 at 4:34 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Just ignore the screaming, and be patient.

    Answer by WomanWitty at 5:49 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Be patient.

    Answer by sherribeare at 12:30 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

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