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As a stepmom, is it wrong to hide the "good" clothes when kids go back to bio mom's? ( It seems to avoid many future arguments.)

The kids always seem to want to wear the expensive clothes we buy back to their mom's house but we never see them again and therefore have to buy more. Sometimes I simply hide them.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Oct. 23, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (24)
  • I would stop buying them the expensive clothing
    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 9:44 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • No! It's understood that what we buy stays at our house or we'll never see them again either. I make sure that they go back to their mom's in whatever they came in...when they see her anyway.
    KennsWifey

    Answer by KennsWifey at 9:45 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I agree with you, Just like bio mom may do the samething. My BF does that with her kids too. But they are younger. When they get older I guess it would be different though. B/C then they would be old enough to take care of their own clothes and stuff, you know.
    bizima4

    Answer by bizima4 at 9:45 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • i would let some of the older clothes go back, i think, but i wouldn't blame you at all if they all happened to be "in the washer" when it was time for the kiddo's to go back. you shouldn't have to spend all of your hard earned money for them to have decent clothes at your house when you'll never see them again. my mom does the same thing with my cousin's DD. my cousin will have mom watch her and can't pack a diaper bag, nothing ever matches, so my mom has bought some cute little outfits and started keeping them at her house so that she always has something to wear that matches.
    Tarable525

    Answer by Tarable525 at 9:45 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I would love to stop buying them but their father wants them to have nice things when we take them out. So I can't convince him to stop. I've tried. But thanks for the quick response. It's nice to know I am not the only one thinking that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I am not a step mom, but I've had to deal with this issue. Its best that you keep the clothes you buy at your home. And have mom send her with clothes from her house. But make sure it is returned to mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • They can have nice thing without spending an arm and a leg for them. My kids wear name brand stuff and I only spend $2 or less per item they have. Would you care if they never came back if you only paid $2 or less for it?
    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 9:50 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • My stepson lives us now but before he was with us FT we had this problem. We only had him 1 night, but he'd wear the good clothes with us and dad would wash the stuff he came in, and then have him change back into those right before sending him back. Otherwise the clothes we sent him in from our house were often never seen again (we think she either gave them away out of spite or sold them).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • That's what we do here. I pick out what they wear to the other parent's. I have grandkids that go back and forth. I also have a dd who goes back and forth, and the judge actually told us we each had to supply her clothes for our own houses. We do to some extent, but some things do go back and forth....we aren't anal about it....like my grandkids dad. He won't even let them wear their winter coats that he bought them, or the shoes. He has even made the kids change clothes in the car! I usually send my dd to her dad's in what she wore here, or something comparable.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 1:13 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • My step mom used to do that to me and I hated her for it. Its not that the clothes would never be seen again, I just wore them a lot because my mom coulden't afford nice clothes. I'm sorry!

    And the person who wrote this: I would love to stop buying them but their father wants them to have nice things when we take them out. So I can't convince him to stop. I've tried.

    That makes me want to cry. What a selfish and disgusting thing to say. Just reading that made me cringe. You sound just like her. Ofcourse you cannot convince him to stop. They are HIS children!!!!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

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