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Our 3 year old has been acting out alot! Is it due to a new baby? What can I do to help her?

Our 3 year old daughter has been acting out lately. She has a brand new baby sister and was not ok with it at first. Whenever her dad is around she will not listen to me, spits in my face and will not let me do anything for her. When he is gone she listens to me ok and she lets me do stuff for her. I feel really bad and it has made me depressed that she is treating me like this. HELP!!

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s_harden

Asked by s_harden at 6:24 PM on Oct. 2, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 7 (174 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Sounds like maybe she thinks u and the baby are taking over her daddy since she is only this way when dad is around. Maybe he should set aside some time for just the two of them and see if that helps and u do the same. Set time aside for her and dad and then u and her. After that set time for family and let her be just as involved in her sister as you and dad are. That really seemed to help my oldest when her bubby was born. And helped my son when my youngest was born. Its time consuming and hard to say the least but she doesnt understand why she isnt #1 anymore. Make her feel just as important.
    tiffany0317

    Answer by tiffany0317 at 6:29 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I think it's a 3 year old thing...my Son is the EXACT SAME WAY! I actually posted a question about this the other day and found that many people with 3 year olds went through this. Not helpful but you;re not alone =) My son ignores me rather or not his dad is home and he acts so horrible when we go out that I stay home! It's horrible and I'm hoping it passes fast. Good luck to you and congrats on the new baby!
    OBImomma

    Answer by OBImomma at 6:31 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • My oldest acted out to when our second daughter came along she was trying to hit the baby and crying alot it was a big adjustment for my oldest who @ the time was 3 when our second daughter arrived so she was young and so used to bein the only child and bein the center of attention when she noticed the new baby getting attention she hated it I cried alot because it was os unlike my daughter to act so wild and mean I just kept telling her she was loved and important and we didnt want her to be mad @ the new baby or us her mom and dad we had to balance the attention and reasure my oldest daughter alot! Eventually she outgrew her resentment and would want to help with the baby and help feed her and grew to love and protect her sister Hang in there and try to include your oldest daughter with the baby and tell her she is just as important and loved as the new baby GL :) It will get better :)
    Truelove77

    Answer by Truelove77 at 6:31 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • wow, ummm, not saying that your husband isnt supporting you but maybe he needs to throw in a little extra, like before he leaves have him tell her, mommy knows best and loves you so much so you need to listen to her, i dont know what i would do if my child ever purposely spit on me, i would have a serious talk with my little one my youngest is about to be 3 and my oldest 4 and if either of them disrepected me or oeach other or anyone i would be talking and hugging anf telling them no matter how mad they are that is not ok, if they want a hug ask for one, if they want to hear daddys voicemail ask, just use your voice, dont hurt mommy or anyone for that matter, just reassure that is not the way to get what they want, good luck to you all!!
    emleejanedom

    Answer by emleejanedom at 3:47 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • It's possible that it's because of the entire family situation right now. You should try including your daughter in taking care of the baby - helping hold bottles or watching you nurse, helping toss out diapers or bringing you new ones, helping entertain baby and holding baby (with your supervision of course). Also take extra time for your 3yo. She probably feels ousted from the family and replaced by the new baby, so try to make her feel included on more things - including taking her places without the baby if possible. Still discipline her and let her know that her actions are inappropriate, but make sure to try and redirect them first or help her find better outlets for her frustration. Making her feel like she is still a loved, cherished, and important part of your family will help a LOT!
    WomanWitty

    Answer by WomanWitty at 4:45 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • It could be the new baby. My mom said I was extremely jealous my brother when he was born. I acted out badly. I do not remember that b/c I was only 20 months old when he was born. lol
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 4:04 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • redirect and be consistent
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 7:08 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

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