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My friend is pregnant and Im trying so hard to be happy for her but Im jealous. She stays home and she doesnt plan to work until her son is in school. She's not married either, but her and her boyfriend is wonderful. They just brought a house, plan to get married after the baby and Im so jealous of that. I know I shouldnt, she's is my friend, but I want her life. I love my daughter and wouldnt trade her for the world, but I hate my life. What should I do?

Im a single mom. I work full time and Im also in grad school full time.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Oct. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • It's okay to want something better for yourself. I'm sure your a great mom and I'm also sure you work hard. Be proud your also in Grad school. But while you envy your friend ~ remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side. You are taking steps to better your future and working hard to get there. The day will come when you'll be envied also! Hey..I envy the fact that you GET to go to school. I haven't gotten there yet but I know that someday I will.
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 10:00 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I think it's normal to want what other people have but instead of being jelous, be happy for her as much as you can. Everything they have, you can have to. You're in school, work hard, and you can have the whole package too.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:01 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Thank you so much. That made me feel better. I believe the grass isnt greener on the other side. My friend actually is very happy about being pregnant, but she is not too happy about being a SAHM. She want to work, but he wont let her. She has no car and he brought a house wayyyy out, so she has no transportation. Other than that her situation is ok. Im trying so hard, to think positive, but being a single mom really take a toll on me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • It's okay to be jealous, sounds like she has it going on, as it were. However, it's really easy to get caught in jealousy to the point of feeling sorry for yourself, and sometimes you might just need a bit of a reality check. Think of all the positives you have-you are bettering your education to fulfill yourself AND give your daughter an awesome life. You have a job and can see other people, you have a bit more freedom than she does in certain areas. Keep in mind a very nice saying i've heard:
    "I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances"
    TempestRayne

    Answer by TempestRayne at 10:03 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • You'll meet the right guy one day and but a house. Right now your in Grad school- I'm jealous of that. ;o)
    AshJoe05

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 10:09 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Don't be jealous, be grateful for what you have. Jealousy only hurts you.

    Nobody has a perfect life and everyone has their ups and downs, sometimes they just aren't as obvious as others.
    muddysuzi

    Answer by muddysuzi at 10:29 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • From what you said, she is not in the greatest situation anyway.
    He sounds controlling. Making her stay home, no car. It is her choice what she does with her life and I dont think she is in a good situation. I grew up in a home with a dad like that. The controlling turns to abuse, physically and mentally. It took my mom 11 years to get out of that marriage, and that was only after HE left her for another woman he got pregnant.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • You need to focus on the positive things in your life rather than the negative. Quit focusing on what she has and take your mind off of her. Envy isn't a good thing and you miss out on the good things in your life because your too busy taking it for granted and envying someone else's life. You don't want to look back and regret taking your own life for granted.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Just remember that the best laid plans sometimes fail. You may not have what she does now, but when you get out of school, climb the career ladder, and buy your own house, you can look back and say you didn't have to depend on a man to get you there! Just think the values you'll be teaching your daughter about hardwork, patience, and independence! I certainly don't wish anything bad for your friend, but what happens if he changes his mind someday? I was envied by my friends and family for living the 'perfect' life too, then my husband left and shattered it all. So, it's hard to say who'll come out on top in the future.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • I don't know what to tell you, except that I feel the same way sometimes. I'm finishing my BA, working, and taking care of my son. My son's father and I have been having problems in our relationship, and with money. I see these other women who seem to have a perfect husband, and a perfect life, they seem to never have money issues, they don't work. I just wonder what I did wrong? Why do I always work my ass off, and never get what I want. Those other women seem to take it for granted.

    Sorry, I saw your post, and I had to do a little mini rant. I feel for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

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