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if any moms out there are in relationships with drug addicts i need some advice my childs father is a drug addict and after so many years of f*****g up he finally decided to get in the program and stay clean he is sober 6 months now and we are doing pretty good are child is happy and so are we but heres the thing he has done so much to me and i dont know how to let it go or even if i should let it go does it get better or worst please some advice

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Oct. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • He is sober..but are you. I don't mean that in a bad way really. Most people who have a relationship of any kind with an addict..be it parent, lover, child..whatever...have to get sober from the addict. Often times enabling them under the thought we were helping etc.
    Al-Anon is a fantastic place to start. You have issues of your own to work through before you can even begin to decide the fate of the relationship.
    You have a right to be angry at all the crap you've been put through...but it is how you channel those emotions is what is important. Al-Anon will be a terrific place of support and lots of people there in your shoes exactly. If you give them a chance they will help. I know they did me..tremendously.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:34 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Each situation is different, because each person is different. Can people change? Sometimes...have hope, my father was a drug addict and a loser extraordinaire, now he is wonderful...doesn't even take Motrin, helps me with my boys, and he is my best friend and confidant. On the other hand, my mother (also a drug addict) has had a hard time getting clean. More often than not, she disappoints. The biggest difference between them is that my father was truly sorry, blamed no one but himself, and was able to give up his pride. For the longest time I would not allow him to see his own checkbook. He was not allowed to have large amounts of cash etc.. He understood why he needed this and I needed it. After a few years of staying clean, he earned my trust back.

    mommyluvsphilip

    Answer by mommyluvsphilip at 10:37 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • cont. My father hit rock bottom and found his way home. I believe that with your constant help, and his constant dedication you can get through this. Remember he will always be an addict, but he may learn to control it, not have it control him. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY!
    mommyluvsphilip

    Answer by mommyluvsphilip at 10:37 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • hey be carful okay you have to wait do not breath yet... my old man lasted 11 months and 2 weeks and 6 days before he got drunk aging.... just don't get a head of your self but at the same time enjoy the good times....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

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